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Killing one's non-physical self

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by TerrapinStation, Mar 18, 2010.

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  1. TerrapinStation

    TerrapinStation Well-Known Member

    I hate my life and nearly everyone and everything in it. I have decided to kill the non-physical parts of my life. Going to try my best to get off heroin and onto methadone (stabilized), will be cutting ties with all my "friends" save for a very few, and especially my ex-fiance who had me come down to meet her new live in bf and still wants to be my friend. Fuck off and die slow, ho.
    Then I'm moving to Chicago, moving in with a close (female) friend I havent seen in a year, it may turn into a romantic thing or it may just stay as friends, either way is fine, and get out of this small town bullshit and go live. I will be cutting all contact with my useless birth family save for birthdays and major holidays. Basically a whole new start. Only person from my old life i'll be in touch with regularly is my male best friend, and if he thinks anyone needs to hear anything from me he'll make sure they get the message.
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Sounds like you are committed to changing your life...that is a good thing and I wish you the best, J
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I hope you can get some good help in changing your lifestyle good for you for wanting to change wish you lots of good fortune ahead.
  4. Mat Voleido

    Mat Voleido Well-Known Member

    I hope you succeed in changing your life. Heroin addiction can be complete bullshit, I really hope you kick it. But methadone treatments and others (Suboxone/Subutex) can almost be as addicting. Because of the long half lives of both the drugs, it can take weeks to withdraw off them, you taper yourself verrrrryyy slowly. But of course, if that works for you, that's great! I've met some people who have done that, and some people who stuck out the 3 days of withdrawal and just used a bunch of benzo's after that to sleep, and they were great. They all said the mental addiction is the hardest to kick, but I'm sure you'll do fine as long as you're comitted!

    I used to feel the same way, I felt like a bastard kid of a deadbeat town. Like I knew every street and road and it was just bullshit. I had to get away and just see something different everyday for a change, you know? But packing up and just leaving everything has it's benifits. I packed a whole bunch of shit and just moved to another city. Met new friends, saw some old ones, made a few not so great choices, met bad people, bought a barbecue, sold a barbecue, biked down hills at 4am, learned some first aid, bought a drumset, met some drummers, got a job, lost a job, got a shitty grocer job, went to good concerts, bad concerts, and it goes on and on. Maybe some of it was hell at the time, but damn it feels like they were the good old days.

    I wish you the best of luck, honestly. I hope everything works out for you!
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