Kitteh's About Me

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Illusion, Sep 16, 2011.

  1. Illusion

    Illusion Well-Known Member

    [ ] Hello. My name is Miranda & I'm 16 years old.

    [ ] I'm addicted to the internet cause thats where most of the friends I haven't shoved away yet are.

    [ ] I hardly get out cause I honestly hate most of everything about this town. Even most of the people.

    [ ] It would be nice to move away from here someday but I don't ever see that happening. I don't even see myself living past 20.

    [ ] I dislike society & want no part in it. I feel like I just wasn't born for this world.

    [ ] I'm 5'8 tall & weigh 245 pounds. Doctors say I'm killing myself but hearing that oddly pleases me.

    [ ] I want to loose 100 pounds but I'm to scared to cause I use to be underweight. Everyone only liked how little I was.

    [ ] I want people to like me. Not my body. Yet I have to ask myself.. What is there to like about me anyways?

    [ ] I trust nobody & I get tired of people easily so I don't usually keep friends for to long.

    [ ] I also don't believe in true love. I've never had a real relationship nor kissed anyone.

    [ ] I use to put myself out there to guys on Myspace & VampireFreaks just to feel wanted but eventually learned they only wanted me for all the wrong reasons..

    [ ] Some were even twice my age. I nearly lost my virginity to someone older than me that I barely knew just so I wouldn't be the only virgin at the lunch table in school.

    [ ] With all honesty I have little interest in sex & actually fear it cause I know people that have been raped.

    [ ] I've been Bi-Curious my whole life though.

    [ ] I don't want to be Bisexual. I feel as though I must dedicate myself to one gender only.

    [ ] Plus I figure that I can't even get guys to really like me so why would a girl like me?

    [ ] I'm not pretty enough to be Bisexual & hate the stereotypes Bisexual has like "greedy".

    [ ] I use to worship a God but don't anymore. Got tired of praying prayers that never got answered.

    [ ] My #1 goal use to be a writer. Now its to blow my brains out.

    [ ] I have no other goal nor ambition now.. I don't fight for anything nor anyone cause nothing is worth fighting for in the long run to me.

    [ ] I use to be the girl that was usually hurting on the inside but smiled on the outside anyways.

    [ ] Now I carry a pessimistic expression 24/7 & feel as though I jinx myself if I'm happy since it never lasts long.

    [ ] I don't sleep a lot cause I'm always tired.. I sleep a lot to be in my own world away from reality.

    [ ] I always feel guilty when spilling stuff like this out but nobody around here will listen to me. They think I'm doing it all for attention.

    [ ] I'll admit I want attention though cause I always feel unwanted & useless.

    [ ] I feel as though the only way to get it is to have a hot body but like I mentioned before... I want people to like me.

    [ ] I don't understand why I have to be this way.. I had everything I could ever want growing up.

    [ ] I feel bad being on here at times reading about people being raped or abused yet I'm on here and none of that has ever happened to me.

    [ ] I just had a bad past from 9 to 12 years old. I nearly lost my mother as well as everything.

    [ ] I'm still to paranoid to this day to type out the whole story on here of my past. People would understand me better if I did but I'm too scared to open up much about it until I'm 18.

    [ ] I will mention though that I've been bullied most of my life.

    [ ] I think my parents made a mistake creating me.. I hate that my mom wasted all them years on me but perhaps she could have a new beginning with my half sister.

    [ ] I use to be upset about her having another kid but now I'm not cause now I know she'll have a daughter whenever I leave this world someday.

    [ ] I feel like my dad would move on pretty quick from my loss since hes in his own happy lil world.

    [ ] I tell her a lot of times that I'll probably die before her but she doesn't take me seriously. Don't blame her. Haven't done it yet cause I've tried just about every other method of killing myself since I was 13. All to painful.. I want something thats quick & painless.

    [ ] I think most of everyone would move on fast since hardly that many people care about me anyways.

    Most girls my age would be writing an about me filled with smiley faces, tons of friends & hobbies but not me... THIS is my about me.

    Sorry guys.. I've always felt as though I haven't opened up enough about myself here. Well here ya go. Took me an hour.
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 16, 2011
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi Kitteh i am glad to see you are opening up and reaching out more here
    just know you can pm any of us okay for support hugs to you
  3. Illusion

    Illusion Well-Known Member