You never knew why you felt so blue. Never questioned the shrug of shoulders at the end of the day. You never knew why life felt untrue or why the rushing of days left you coming unglued. You never questioned the nausea of his hands on your **** or the way you thought about the grocery list on your nightstand and whether you’d forgotten to put down cabbage instead of the way his body felt as it moved under your hands. Then you questioned as you kneeled retching the taste of his spit refusing to leave your mouth if it was too late for happiness. You question all the running you’d done wondering what you were running from. You close your eyes build a mental wall soon enough to fall between yourself and that pointless despair and snort a line of coke off a toilet seat. Try to calm the mental voices dangerous in disrepair but still OCD neat. Wipe the top clean. Blot your nose rinse your mouth ready to head out. Grab your beer of the floor pick the toilet paper off the bottom of the ridged glass and head back downstairs. Nothing wrong here no questions to be asked answers nobody’d want to hear anyway and a sweet tattoo bought with money you didn’t have saying it all a scar arrow straight finished with a pair of scissors done in ink and a dotted line. Don’t worry then a kiss dry lips I’ll be fine.