Know what Ive noticed?

Ive noticed that people who are happy tend to make happiness for others to. Why is it that I feel like Im an exception to that? Ive been an accomplished musician for many years but Im miserable inside. Ive been in a solid year of pure torment (or it seems like it) for an entire year since the ex left. I thought I was over it all but it seems to come in increasing waves. I have three wonderful children. When Im with them in visitation is when Im the happiest but still in pain because my family is broken. On top of that I have to deal with court. I wish this for me. I wish to be gone from this world. There is no other forum, place or person I can say this too. I truly thank God for this sight. I know my children need me. I know I would cause allot of hurt to allot of people if I did something extreme, but I see no end in sight for me. I see no happiness. Someone please tell me something positive, something happy. I dont want to be jealous of those who have past on. I want to celebrate life and be a part of it but its so hard. What do I do? I would post my number or something. I need someone to talk to that bad but I guess for now all I can do is tearfully post here.

 

I know you won't believe me, but sit it out, it does get easier.
Been shattered by loss of partner and it's taken a long time but have finally started to glue myself back together.
If you can, lose yourself in your music, in the meantime my pm box is always open if you need a friendly ear.

 

something that blows my mind, how can someone hurt another person that is good to them. i mean hurts them so bad that they are no longer "good", they are damaged. how can that person live with their self?

my desires to get revenge were so strong that I felt I was becoming a sociopath.