Ive noticed that people who are happy tend to make happiness for others to. Why is it that I feel like Im an exception to that? Ive been an accomplished musician for many years but Im miserable inside. Ive been in a solid year of pure torment (or it seems like it) for an entire year since the ex left. I thought I was over it all but it seems to come in increasing waves. I have three wonderful children. When Im with them in visitation is when Im the happiest but still in pain because my family is broken. On top of that I have to deal with court. I wish this for me. I wish to be gone from this world. There is no other forum, place or person I can say this too. I truly thank God for this sight. I know my children need me. I know I would cause allot of hurt to allot of people if I did something extreme, but I see no end in sight for me. I see no happiness. Someone please tell me something positive, something happy. I dont want to be jealous of those who have past on. I want to celebrate life and be a part of it but its so hard. What do I do? I would post my number or something. I need someone to talk to that bad but I guess for now all I can do is tearfully post here.