A few weeks ago I found out my Great Aunt has terminal cancer. She is in her 80s. I know that she is old and she has had a good life and everything, and that makes it a little bit easier. The hardest thing is knowing. Knowing that she is going to die. This past week has been really hard. I had an exam yesterday, so I have had to hold myself together. On monday it was her birthday. I rang her and it was really good to talk to her. We have always been really close. She started talking about memories. Things that we used to do when I was little. It was really hard because she wasn't just talking about it, but reflecting on it, if that makes sense. Because she knows she might not have very long left. A the moment I only live about 45 minutes away. I said about going to see her next week. In the past she has tried to put us off seeing her, saying 'Its probably better to come when I feel better'. But i was surprised when she said that when she feels a bit better then maybe she will get my great uncle to bring her across to me. She would never have suggested that before. I have no grandparents, I lost 3 of them to cancer. I lost my nan 5 years ago to pancreatic cancer. She refused treatment, and to be honest I dont think there was alot they could hae done. She suffered alot, it got to the point where she couldn't even eat anymore. It was so hard to watch. I'm worried the same is going to happen to my aunt. She has stomach cancer. She already has trouble eating. Part of me wants her to go quickly and I know that sounds really bad, But I can;t bear the thought of her suffering like that. She doesnt deserve it one bit. And then I feel selfish too. This is the year I graduate from uni. In july. It was something I always wanted my family to see, to make them proud. Having no grandparents, it has been really important to me that my aunt sees it. But for her to survive until then is going to be horrible for her. I just wish there was something that I could do to make it easier. To make it so she wouldnt suffer.