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knowing this will be your eventual end

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by lymeinside, Sep 30, 2009.

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  1. lymeinside

    lymeinside Well-Known Member

    i know that i will eventually die by suicide. i can't see any other possibility. i just can't live life. i wasn't meant to, or so it seems. i'm sick and so tired of everything. i can never be happy and waking up to a new hell each and every day for hte rest of my life makes me want to not wake up at all. this is intolerable. for a long time i've known how it will end. i'm waiting until my parents pass and then i'll do it. as horrible of a "human being" i am i can't put them through that. i'll suffer until then.

    at least i'm able to cry tonight. it's a release for me. relieves some of the pressure. i wish i could just cry my eyes out, but it's not happening.
  2. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I am glad you have something holding you here for now. You can't be sure of what lies ahead and maybe by the time your parents have passed you will have either found other reasons to live or things may have changed enough that you actually want to live. Try to focus on the things you can be thankful for to try to get you out of this negativity. It can be anything. Even a blade of grass or sun shining through the windows. I am sorry you are struggling. I am glad you have posted and sought support. :hug:
  3. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    It is good you came here to post. Like your tears, it is a release. Another reason to live, a reason for all of us to live, is to help each other here. :hug:
  4. oncevibrant

    oncevibrant New Member

    you took the words right out of my mouth....feeling exactly the same way....when tears come it is a relief because i then know that i am capable of emotion....i'm hanging in there for my parents b/c i know that my death would devastate them....wish i had something more positive to say other than this- you're not alone
  5. Angelo_91

    Angelo_91 Well-Known Member

    hey man.. i feel the exact same way.. im waiting for death... lets just hope theres something beautiful for both of us on the other side.
  6. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I wish i could cry as you because sometime the pain is so great one can't breath
    I am glad your here so others can help you keep reaching out okay
  7. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I'm glad that you let that out.. Talking it over shows another emotion.. That you care..Try to find one positive thing thru out your day and hang on to that.. When you are feeling down look back at that positive thought..You seem to me to be a caring person or you wouldn't worry abouthow this would affect your parents.. I have been there.. I didn't care what my family thought..The only thing that kept me from going thru with it was my grandaughter.. She is the light of my life and I hang onto her..My meds and therapy have kept me pretty stable..I still have my down days but I try to think of the one positive thing that has happened each day and it really helps..
  8. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I'm with you & Violet. I love crying. It feels so good. I mean just to feel anything.
    And I'm glad that you're posting here. Give this place a chance. They'll show you as much love as possible without physically being able to hug you tight.
  9. Kris.T

    Kris.T Well-Known Member

    I feel the same way. As soon as my parents are gone, I can't see me being on this earth more then a week after they pass. Also, crying helps me too, until I realise WHY I'm crying, then I just feel like shit.
  10. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hey.What exactly is going on for you every day that you hate so much? I don't think you're horrible. Crying does help sometimes.. :hug:
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