l can't carry on...please help.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by sophiethecat2003, Apr 21, 2015.

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  1. Hi everyone...I have Body Dismorphia and can't cope anymore. It relates to eye bags and a condition called Syringoma which is small sweat glands under the eyes which multiply. I have a loving partner and a great stress free life, but non of this matters. I can't sleep or eat and I am just wondering how I am going to survive. I have no wish to carry on despite having everything. I feel so tired and I just want to die. I know it's shallow but I just see my problems with my eyes as overwhelming. I have cried so much and the lack of sleep is making things physically worse. I have good friends, but they can't cope with me. I am just about to go back on Citalopram, which keeps me awake and makes me not be able to eat.

    Please help me I am so desperate. I am 63 in 2 weeks and I don't think I can get that far.

    Sophie ☺ xx
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi sophie Have you asked your doc to talk to a specialist about your eyes see if there is anything to keep the glands from swelling and to shrink them or is their surgery that can remove them I am sorry you are feeling so low i do hope the medication helps with that and i hope you continue to talk to us here ok.
  3. ChestnutMay

    ChestnutMay Antiquities Friend

    I'm really sorry you're in so much pain right now. Fortunately it seems you are getting some treatment, since someone is prescribing citalopram. However, it also seems this might not be the right medication for you since you view going on it with such dread, and I would feel the same way if it messed with my sleep. When we get older, sleep is hard enough to come by without taking a medication that prevents it. Not being able to eat is another real problem. Can you ask your provider to prescribe something else? There are plenty of other medications, citalopram is an an SSRI and there are lots of members of this group.

    What about therapy? Do you have someone supportive and comforting with whom you can talk? Someone who has expertise in treating your disorder and who can help you talk through your feelings about it? Maybe even come up with some techniques to help you modify maladaptive thought patterns. I would also agree with total eclipse that pursuing medical options is worth a shot.

    I'm wondering how much of your current depression is that you have a birthday coming up. It sounds like you've been coping with this disorder for a long time but for some reason it has recently gotten worse. What is going on that is new?

    Do not think in terms of being shallow because your feelings about this are so overwhelming at the moment. You have an illness and you should not criticize yourself because it's especially severe right now.

    Again, I'm sorry you're suffering so much with this.
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi there, I am so sorry for what you are going through. I think the best thing you can do is to keep talking to us here and also consult with your doctor. It's an illness and you can get treated! I hope everything works out okay for you.
  5. Hi..thanks for replying. I am waiting for CBT but the wait is months. I have plenty of people to talk to but they are all getting fed up telling me there is nothing wrong with my eyes.

    My doctor seems to think Citalopram is the best option, as this was suggested by a Pshychiatrist I saw a couple of years ago.

    I have tried to stop checking in mirrors and my partner hides them, but I find more and make myself upset with constantly finding more things wrong.

    My doctor gave me sleeping tablets and I got 7 hours sleep last night for the first time in a month. I paid for it though as I have been feeling sick and unsteady all day. Before last night I hardly slept at all for a month.

    I have had the BDD problem since I was 18, and it rears it's head every few years, usually brought on by some sort of stress.

    This latest episode was triggered by my friend committing suicide, and myself and two friends found her.

    I think I have coped with that now, but my BDD problem is raging. I really don't know whether to take the Citalopram, and put up with the side effects. My doctor has never suggested any other meds. I was on them a couple of years ago and only weaned myself off them 6 months ago. Now I'm back to square one.

    I am glad for your help and any suggestions, I am really so low

    Big hugs
    Sophie :)
  6. On the brink

    On the brink New Member

    Please take one day at a time. The fact that you have a loving partner is a blessing many do not have. Give the meds a try and be optimistic they will work. Few meds work when you are convinced they will not.
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