Haven't been posting here for ages, i was free of suicidal thoughts and depression for several months, as if i had pressed an "off" switch or something, but these last months have been too hard, so here i am. Like anybody else here, i guess, there are plenty of issues troubling me, but this time i wanna focus only on study problems. And i know it might seem kinda boring, but i could use some suggestions. So, i 'm studying medicine, i' m in my last year. When somebody is great at school from an early age, they and everybody around them tend to treat them in a certain way, and in my case i used to believe that i m smart, i have a sharp memory, that i m can study in an effective way so that i can save time etc. But this is not the case anymore, sadly. I gradually lost all ability to learn things by heart, i can't concentrate on anything that demands mental skills, not even a crossword, or a jigsaw. I am completely forgetful, always losing my keys, or my sunglasses. This July i confused the departure day of the ship that i was gonna take for vaccation, and it was out of pure luck i didn' t miss it. Even my English used to be better. I' m struggling to find the words i need, when i used to be much more fluent. As a result of all these things, my scores have taken the downhill. And i know that it's a hard thing to study, there's lots of competition too, but even that can't justify anything. It can' t justify the anxiety, my inability to concentrate, the hyperactivity i get when the day of an exam gets close, frosing or blacking out when on exams. I feel as if i got all those ideas in my head, that keep blocking the information from coming out. Just this day i took an oral exam on neurology, a science i find interesting, that i understand and that i paid a significant (for my standards at least) time studying. On the first question i got asked i lost my words, i starting shaking a bit and was out of breath so i asked if i could get out. At the end of the exam i talked to that neurologist and he said i am obviously under lots of pressure and he will refer me to a psychiatrist so that i can start taking some anxiety pills. Thing is i have no experience of therapy or anything like that. My family is not in fond of shrinks either. Considering that i am the healthiest part of a divorced family with obvious cases of depression, they would be shocked to find out i need help.Is this going to work? Is it worth to cause sorrow to my parents, letting them know that yet another of their kids, they only one they thought was ok, is in need of pills? I don't know what i hope to find here, besides some casual words of comfort, which are always good to hear but useless in the long run. Maybe someone from a similarly demanding backround, feeling the same way? Anywho, if u bothered to read up to here, thanx a lot.