Lack of direction in life

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Abbadon, Aug 10, 2014.

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  1. Abbadon

    Abbadon Member

    Hey everyone,

    so's me finally posting something on here, I think I've posted an introduction long ago, but I've never really made an effort to post anything else, so here goes;

    I've been studying accounting in college for two years now and will be returning to school for my final year in september. Right now, I've got a temporary student job in the government which I started about a month ago with the possibility of being able to work part-time during the school year. Although it's the best job I've ever had, it's really nothing special; I mainly do filing of invoices and sometimes work on minimalist projects that could be as silly as checking if the links on their intranet website are working like they're supposed to. Plus, the team is super nice and helpful and my boss is about the nicest person I've ever met.

    The problem is...I just feel empty working at this job. And I feel guilty for feeling that way, because you should be grateful for having a job, right? I find myself looking at the time during the day, A LOT. It pains me just to think about it. I'm not the most social person either, I mostly keep to myself, and when working in a team focused environment, that's not really a good thing. Still, if I'm really not sure about something, I ask questions, although it does take a lot out of me, since I don't want to risk getting fired for a job not well done.

    I don't think I really like doing anything...I just picked accounting since it's a "safe" job that pays relatively well, although I don't really care for money. I'm not exceptionally good at it, but I did have good grades since I put the effort in. What the hell have I gotten myself into? Prior to the Hey I'm going to be an accountant fiasco, I completed 3 years in computer programming in college and got a college degree in that, but decided at the end that it wasn't for me, and it REALLY wasn't for me. My parents have been amazing in supporting me financially throughout those years, and I'm very thankful for their help. I suppose the only good thing that I got out of those 3 wasted years is that I'm sure I don't want to be a computer programmer. Why couldn't I have just settled with a simple cleaning job or something? What exactly put the idea in my mind to get a damn college degree?

    Anyways...sorry for the long text. I'm not looking for any particular advice, but rather, is anyone experiencing what I'm experiencing or maybe have experienced before? Or if you have anything else to add, it's fine. The whole idea of settling for any job is goddamn scary to me. I guess if I have to settle for an accountant job, it would be have to be a low-paying one with the least amount of responsibilities, I don't give a shit.

    Thanks for reading through all this.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    It is good you have a good team to work with and hopefully in time you will get responsibilities so you are more challenged hugs
  3. Abbadon

    Abbadon Member

    Thank you for the kind reply, Eclipse. :)
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