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Lacking confidence.

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by blueburn, Dec 6, 2009.

  1. blueburn

    blueburn Member

    Okay i'm male 20 years old never kissed a girl so obviously never done it. Random people tell me I'm good looking, my family do. Yet I've only ever had 1 girlfriend if you can call it that. I was like 14 at the time. She's now a model lying on the bonnets of supercars(call me stupid if you like I sure feel like it now!). I have mates who will just start talking to random girl's. In my head I think if I did that they would call me a weirdo or a pervert lol. I I will only speak to them if i'm spoken to. I make eye contact with girl's I like and they do the same and I smile but I go no futher. WTF is wrong with me. I do worry I will not carry on the family chain, it's up to me. my sister and 3 cousins. We have a small family. How do you just approach a girl you don't know without them spraying mace in your face or getting kicked in goolies.
  2. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    Methinks you overthink.

    Sometimes you just gotta do it, without thinking too much on how she'll react.
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 6, 2009
  3. Rayne

    Rayne Well-Known Member

    Haha, well said. Agreed.
    If you really struggle, try a dating site or some event designed for single people to meet each other?
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Just say hi talk to her like you would a member of your family be yourself. Don't over try okay.
  5. Reki

    Reki Well-Known Member

    Just stick to 'hey' and you'll be okay. If you're friendly to someone on the first meeting, 90% of the time they're friendly right back.
  6. NoGood

    NoGood Well-Known Member

    I agree, just walk up, stand talk, smile, wink and nod and say in your best Joey from friends voice "how you do'nnnnnnn???" - no no im kidding!!!!

    Just say hi and smile, noone will call you a perv, the worst that can happen is they blow you off and make some excuse to leave the conversation but if that happens, then what have you lost???? Your back to square one again but no harm done.

    Speaking for myself here, Im a girl and i NEVER approach a guy even if i think he is the best thing since sliced bread. If im out and see someone, ill check him out, put myself in his path and maybe exchange glances but ill never approach him. I suppose im just old fashioned and then theres my lack of confidence too, but girls like confident guys so my advice is to "fake it till you make it". Stand tall, be proud, pretend to be confident, it will subconsiously rub off on you.

    I say, take a deep breath, smile and just say hi. DO IT!!!! :D
  7. blueburn

    blueburn Member

    Cheers guy's and girl's. Although this method would not work to well in the confides of work to well I think. I'm a surgical assistant and there is a physotherapist I like, Made eye contact a few times in the corridor and I held a door open once for her like a gentleman. I was hoping she would speak to me but oh well no, smiled and said thank you, that's it. I really should speak up but can't.
  8. Murkury

    Murkury Member

    First step: Pinch/slap yourself when you think this.

    women will never think you are a weirdo for trying to flirt with them. Women expect the man to initiate, so they won't hold it against you or slap a restraining order on you.

    So think to yourself: "I am the man, they want me to talk to them."

    Then say "hello", and hopefully your nervousness will fade and instinct will take over and you'll be in the clear.
  9. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    Next time you see her, say hi...if you hold a door for her again, you can make a comment about the weather...like hot isnt it? Or man are we getting loads of snow already...take your time...try and say something each time you meet...even if its just hi, how are you? beautiful day isnt it? then the more you see each other the deeper the connection and you'll get enough confidence to maybe ask her out...or maybe ask her to lunch in the cafeteria...

  10. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    Mm! All good advice here!
    I've never really been single until now, and I'm much too shy to initiate conversation...
    I haven't been flirted with for well over a year now; so that's a drop in confidence for me. -__-

    I actually know quite a few guys who hadn't had much (if any) experience with girls. All good looking, nice guys; but they'd never initiated conversation before.
    Just be friendly!
    Look for an opportunity to swoop in and save the day or make her laugh!