Laid it out and now help is coming.eek!

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Bambi, May 28, 2009.

  1. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    Well now I am freaked out because my Dad is coming to help me move. He got really worried when I didn't respond for days and well I let him have it. I told him I was mad because they all knew how I was feeling and how dysfunctional I was and yet nobody came to help me. I told him I probably was not right in being angry but I was and that he should be concerned as I was on the edge and that I have been saying it to them for a few months now so if I did off myself they shouldn't be surprised and that if they felt guilty then maybe they should get down here and help me. I know this all sounds harsh and a bit like blackmail but he asked and I was honest. Also did say I knew that I was being emotional but I did say that I would never do to someone what they were doing to me. I said I didn't hate them but did say they should not expect me to talk to them for awhile and that I was mad. He got choked up and he was concerned and I said he should be and that under no circumstances did I want my mother to come to any funeral as she lost that right when she walked out the door

    Well now he is coming into town. I know this sounds weird but I am a bit afraid...afraid he is not going to be supportive but rather judgmental and say hurtful things which I just can't take right now. I worry that this hope I have that he/someone will be there for me and be supportive (I keep breaking down when I try to pack or organize my upcoming move) will get shattered in yet another way. I guess that is human nature to be worried that the love you are needing won't be there and I am trying to tell myself "Hey he is coming so he must care and if he doesn't do exactly as you are wanting it does not mean he loves you any less". I worry that it maybe unreasonable to want help moving because I can't get it together enough to pack my things. I just really feel that if someone will help me through this I will be able to keep myself afloat afterwards. Has anyone had similar thoughts about someone coming to finally help but being a bit afraid? embarrassed?

    Please don’t get me wrong I am so grateful that he is coming but worry that it will just turn ugly…last time they visited they just ignored how I was feeling, left me in my living room in tears and just worry I it is going to go badly.
     
  2. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    It sounds like your dad is going to be supportive but don't be hurt if he offers some advice that you don't agree with right away. That's what happened to me several times.

    I got the help, but a lecture came with it. Sometimes it was valid, sometimes not, but the intent was to be helpful not hurtful. Please let me know how it goes.
     
  3. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the reply Shades..I know what to expect in my head but my stupid heart just can't take another blow and I feel embarrassed that I can't get through this alone. Thanks for the input very sweet of you and I appreciate it.