Well now I am freaked out because my Dad is coming to help me move. He got really worried when I didn't respond for days and well I let him have it. I told him I was mad because they all knew how I was feeling and how dysfunctional I was and yet nobody came to help me. I told him I probably was not right in being angry but I was and that he should be concerned as I was on the edge and that I have been saying it to them for a few months now so if I did off myself they shouldn't be surprised and that if they felt guilty then maybe they should get down here and help me. I know this all sounds harsh and a bit like blackmail but he asked and I was honest. Also did say I knew that I was being emotional but I did say that I would never do to someone what they were doing to me. I said I didn't hate them but did say they should not expect me to talk to them for awhile and that I was mad. He got choked up and he was concerned and I said he should be and that under no circumstances did I want my mother to come to any funeral as she lost that right when she walked out the door Well now he is coming into town. I know this sounds weird but I am a bit afraid...afraid he is not going to be supportive but rather judgmental and say hurtful things which I just can't take right now. I worry that this hope I have that he/someone will be there for me and be supportive (I keep breaking down when I try to pack or organize my upcoming move) will get shattered in yet another way. I guess that is human nature to be worried that the love you are needing won't be there and I am trying to tell myself "Hey he is coming so he must care and if he doesn't do exactly as you are wanting it does not mean he loves you any less". I worry that it maybe unreasonable to want help moving because I can't get it together enough to pack my things. I just really feel that if someone will help me through this I will be able to keep myself afloat afterwards. Has anyone had similar thoughts about someone coming to finally help but being a bit afraid? embarrassed? Please don’t get me wrong I am so grateful that he is coming but worry that it will just turn ugly…last time they visited they just ignored how I was feeling, left me in my living room in tears and just worry I it is going to go badly.