Since started over with life a year and a half ago, I've run into some problems, particularly with money. Every time I think about this I just want to die, but I've spent almost $50K between school, bills, debt, and living expenses. That includes the $17K debt I'm currently in. I'm an electrician and was working for a company making $11.50/hour. The pay is crap starting out but I thought I'd eventually start making good money and it would all be worthwhile, but the worst thing has happened. On Friday I got a call from my boss saying that work was slow and he had to let me go, because he wanted to keep other electricians who had seniority (been there longer than me). Now I'm unemployed and don't know what to do. I feel like all of this was a big mistake. In my old life I was making a decent income, and had savings in case of emergencies, but there never was one, until depression became too much for me and I went crazy. Friday evening I talked to my sister and told her that I've been suffering from chronic depression ever since I was a kid. She said that our family has a history of depression, which I never knew about, and that my siblings knew all along that something wasn't right with me, because I was never happy, and always complaining about small things. I'm glad I finally told someone about my condition, but not without past regrets. My sister said I shouldn't dwell on what happened in the past but I can't help it. I always keep thinking I made a huge mistake, something that will always be with me. I see no other jobs in sight. I have to go to different electrical contractors tomorrow and basically beg for work. That's going to be difficult because i don't think any of them will take me seriously. I also have an IT background and could go back to that, but my resume has a 2 year gap in it so I'd need help fixing that up. I thought this was a good career choice, and I want to keep at it, but I don't know where else to go. I'd like to move but I can't move far because I don't have the money to do so. I feel like a miserable failure. I'm thinking about ending it, or at least trying to. I've made all the wrong decisions and am paying for it now. All in the pursuit of happiness. FML Feels like I'm hopelessly ranting.