Laid off and thinking about ending it...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Ferret, Apr 25, 2010.

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  1. Ferret

    Ferret Well-Known Member

    Since started over with life a year and a half ago, I've run into some problems, particularly with money. Every time I think about this I just want to die, but I've spent almost $50K between school, bills, debt, and living expenses. That includes the $17K debt I'm currently in. I'm an electrician and was working for a company making $11.50/hour. The pay is crap starting out but I thought I'd eventually start making good money and it would all be worthwhile, but the worst thing has happened. On Friday I got a call from my boss saying that work was slow and he had to let me go, because he wanted to keep other electricians who had seniority (been there longer than me). Now I'm unemployed and don't know what to do. I feel like all of this was a big mistake. In my old life I was making a decent income, and had savings in case of emergencies, but there never was one, until depression became too much for me and I went crazy.

    Friday evening I talked to my sister and told her that I've been suffering from chronic depression ever since I was a kid. She said that our family has a history of depression, which I never knew about, and that my siblings knew all along that something wasn't right with me, because I was never happy, and always complaining about small things. I'm glad I finally told someone about my condition, but not without past regrets. My sister said I shouldn't dwell on what happened in the past but I can't help it. I always keep thinking I made a huge mistake, something that will always be with me.

    I see no other jobs in sight. I have to go to different electrical contractors tomorrow and basically beg for work. That's going to be difficult because i don't think any of them will take me seriously. I also have an IT background and could go back to that, but my resume has a 2 year gap in it so I'd need help fixing that up. I thought this was a good career choice, and I want to keep at it, but I don't know where else to go. I'd like to move but I can't move far because I don't have the money to do so. I feel like a miserable failure. I'm thinking about ending it, or at least trying to. I've made all the wrong decisions and am paying for it now. All in the pursuit of happiness. FML :(

    Feels like I'm hopelessly ranting.
  2. bono

    bono Well-Known Member

    The economy is slowly coming back. 17k seems like a huge amount, inflation will eat that amount ten years from now. It isn't enough cash to buy a new car.
    It would be nice to have a job in the field you went to school in. But a paycheck is will get thats gets you by is good enough, because it takes the stress away and improves your mood.
    You need to have the attitude that your very employable and that the company should be lucky to have you (confident not cocky). Good Luck.
  3. Ferret

    Ferret Well-Known Member

    I don't think I should have done this. I had a job, good money+benefits+pension, but hated it because If felt like I was getting nowhere. So unhappy being a call center drone all my life. Is that all there is to life, sitting at a desk all day staring at a computer? It's horrible. Maybe I'm being to picky or something. But I was depressed then, so maybe it was for the better. I dunno, so much stress :(
  4. alloutoftears

    alloutoftears Account Closed

    im suffering from the recession too, unemployment at 25% here (despite the govt lies), its a daily grind.

    could i suggest contract work, it may be a way to broaden your options without having to commit long term to any particular employer, also u may be able to utilise all your experience to date.

    best of luck and don't stress the debt, bankruptcy is always an option.
  5. lawstudentindebt

    lawstudentindebt Active Member

    Is it anyone else's fault? If so, I can help you sue them and we can both get some money :)
  6. TriEdge

    TriEdge Member

    Your work field is really hard. My uncle has been laid off for over 3 years! His name is slowly coming up on the books though. The problem is that no places are building or really tearing down. He used to get side jobs from people building new homes but one is doing that.

    I hope that field gets a boost eventually. I know my uncle even went as far to finish the schooling so he could make more money. Is that what you also did since you mention school debt?
  7. Ferret

    Ferret Well-Known Member

    Some of my debt is school debt. The rest accrued due to living expenses/bills. The reason I took this trade is because I thought it was "in demand" but it turns out it's a pile of crap. I know now that I shouldn't have quit my last job. Now I don't know when I'll ever have enough money to buy a house. With the last job that was somewhat possible. I don't think I could live in a big house by myself though. It would be so lonely.

    I don't know what to do now. This has all been a big mistake. Maybe I'll go back to working in a call center. That seems like the job that's best suited to me. Anything else would be a failure.
  8. bono

    bono Well-Known Member

    I went to tech school for industrial instrumentation right after high school. Got a great job, then got laid off. Those eight months unemployed were among the unhappiest of my life. I grabbed the 'Alberta Oil + gas directory' ans spammed 100's for resumes. Eventually I caught a break and got on as a laborer. Not the least bit glamorious, but it was a foot in the door with a big utilies company. I got to see all the different trades in action. And went I had the money saved up went back to tech school for power engineering.

    I am glad I got laid off from my 1st good job. If I hadn't I would probably still be working there as miserable as ever. For years after I regretted the 2 years and money I wasted at Tech. But after 7 years working a power engineer I ended up using my Instrumentation diploma again.

    Life will throw you some weird curves. Your situation is the norm. Its a rare to be part of the lucky few who find there dream job first crack and spend there career working for one company. Don't lose hope. I firmly believe that the universe will help, but you need to let it. Smile, close your eyes and breathe deep...your body can't tell it fake, you'll feel better.

    LTANNER Member

    Divine. Write letters. Divine. Ndsls etc. Divine. Write letters. Should clear some stuff. Sorry to hear your fin scares.
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