Lame and unusual overdose experience :s

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by MissMisery, Jul 16, 2011.

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  1. MissMisery

    MissMisery Well-Known Member

    Hello, so I had been feeling really low and completely helpless, lonely, scared etc etc for a few months, it got worse by the day and the house became a pig sty, i was drinking again and didnt know what the hell to do to sort the situation out. Lost all motivation and i was a total mess mentally and physically, my face was really swollen from water retention which made me give up on myself and i lost all pride in my appearance again.

    Anyways to cut a long story short, i reached rock bottom and i was talking about overdosing for a few days before i did it, it wasnt a 'suicide attempt' its just a bad coping mechanism i have and i take od's to escape things and then usually come out other end feeling a bit more with it so to speak.

    I took what i usually take, and not a massive amount as i hate taking pills at any time. After taking them my dad came home cos he knew i was onto it etc, so i lied about when i had taken the pills so that i didnt get forced to hospital and have tht revolting charcoal stuff. Also, i was hoping to keep the pills down and see what happened. As it was, i got taken by ambulance to the hospital because i wasnt willing to go, it was same old thing, 4hours and bloods etc. I was drowsy mostly, no nausea or anything, then i got my results and they moved me onto the short stay ward which is awful. I ended up leaving the hospital before any kind of treatment and i got a taxi to my mothers, i had taken the pills at 2.30pm and got to my mums at 9pm. I said hospital let me go etc and slept the night ther, i was confused as to why i was sick, i felt very sick all night, but i was determined to hold the pills down and i slept through, had crazy dreams and was awake early.

    The police rang after my dad had been ringing my mother, saying i needed treatment and had to go back etc, i ignored it, and slept some more. However my mum conned me into going back that morning, and i felt a right idiot and lame, like the biggest fail ever. I had more bloods taken and my results where worse, had the treatment first 16hours, then another set after that because my levels had risen more AFTER the treatment, i wasnt sick the whole time and hardly felt it, just had the headache from hell and was really drowsy and felt as if id had a load of alcohol. I ended up having 3 sets of treatment over 5 days, and i collapsed a few days into it and was on oxygen, so that was the worst part.

    Like i say, i felt a right idiot the whole time, saw the crisis team who where a lot more useful than usual. They are doing follow up since ive come home. I must admit, it opened my eyes, and i wouldnt do it again in a hurry, ive done it too many times and its ridiculous really. Ive started to feel a bit better, forcing myself to socialise more, reduced my bulimia (binge eating and purging) habits, stopped drinking (apart form the past few days had a few but nothing heavy). Today ive got a bit of a grim feeling, hungover and tired and feel a mess, thats just with a bit of alcohol, so now im going to stay away from any alcohol. I never ever ever want to feel as low as i did before! or be in that kind of place, it scares me a bit, because today i dont feel as with it as i have done all week.

    Ah :s so yes, moral of the story is a lesson learnt really! Its been a strange week i guess, i met up with someone off facebook, which was random and i dont excatly know why, but i thought id do something different and company is better than dwelling and eating and puking all day etc which i hate!
    This person i met is easy going and pretty easy to get on with, but im really shy and frigid in certain areas, he is a bit full on. Im not used to that kind of person, and ive only met him like twice and hes already going on about relationships etc and sex. So that makes me nervous and im not right keen on the whole idea. Anyway, totally gone off topic! Point is, i dont think its right for me, im no way into the idea of a relationship, i cant exactly be normal because of things i have going on with my eating disorder, my moods, and all my weird things, anxieties etc etc.
  2. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Ale,
    I think you should make an appointment with your regular doctor.. You run the chance of liver failure and kidney problems when you OD to much.. You said it yourself that you have done it several times..Plus the alcohol isn't good for your liver..I'm just concerned and think you should use caution..Take Care!!
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi you so i hope you do see your doctor okay you need some help hun reach out for it like you have here. I know it is hard but you donot want to go on dialysis so please get the test necessary to make sure your liver and kidney are not failing hugs
  4. MissMisery

    MissMisery Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the concern and you are right to say, i already have the beginning of cirrhosis of the liver and scar tissue, last year i was heavily drinking, took an overdose and i had a really bad experience, my liver nearly failed and the doctors in hospital had me down to go on the transplant list, but thankfully, after a course of treatments and anti-biotics, vitamins etc etc i improved. I cant stress this enough, the agony was actually unbearable, my stomach was massive with the swelling, my legs got so swollen i actually collapsed when i tried to walk, i was hallucinating the most awful things and no amount of morphine would take away the pain. Apparently an overdose of paracetamol does something to your pain receptors, hence why the morphine had zero effect.

    Since that experience last year i couldnt stand the thought and i was under some belief that another overdose would actually cause liver failure. Im thankfull it never did, and i will never do anything like it again. I have follow up care from the crisis team which i need to sort out. As i said, things have been a bit better and such like, but i dont know today, ive felt low and the usual triggers etc. Anyways, im aware now and im going to try to relax tonight and hopefully tomorrow il feel more with it again!

    Thanks again.
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    i hope you do relax hun just take time for you okay and keep posting here it does help to know you are not alone okay hugs:hugtackles:
  6. xXWhateverItTakesXx

    xXWhateverItTakesXx Forum Buddy


    I think you are so brave hun. Having been through so much and now you seem so strong. You are amazing.

    And tell that guy to back off a bit, you need some relax time

    Take care :hug: xx
  7. MissMisery

    MissMisery Well-Known Member

    Aw thanks a million1 :) yeah i know, he has been quite pressurising all week and ive seen him twice in one week, then i had a relapse down days and such, usual home life and bulimia etc but im staying with it as you do. Thanks again!
  8. Underground

    Underground Well-Known Member

    I'm glad you're (mostly) okay from it, that sounds like a terrible experience. As for the guy from Facebook, I know this is a bit off-tangent, but it doesn't sound like a good idea if he's all full on about sex so soon.. people like him are usually bad news. Please be cautious, sorry if this is patronising, though.

    Anyways, I've had a lame overdose experience. I took.. lets just say 'a little too many' lithium tablets a few times, the first time my vision went blurry and I slept 15 hours, another time I felt extremely sick and tired. I was told to go for medical treatment but never, I highly doubt I did any internal damage, though.. I'm.. fine. Was tempted to ring NHS Direct (0845 4647), even had the no. typed out on my mobile but couldn't bring myself to make the call, I guess. Was scared of being 'forced' into hospital.
  9. jkeller4000

    jkeller4000 Well-Known Member

    hm, i got to warn you, be careful when dealing with people online :)

    lol i met my ex gf online and she learned that i was not right for her, it too me a long time for me to tell her my secret, and she told me if i did not get help she would not be my gf anymore,

    lol what suicidal person is going to get help? being suicidal means one is tryign to end their life getting help would interfere with that,

    well anyways if anyone is suicidal please get help,

    also, wow drinking, i just tonight got a bit suicidal and thought abotu going and getting somethign to drink, but maybe not,

    can u tell me how u get the courage to go to the store to get ur alcohol, i have a big fear of people and it stops me from talking to anyone irl about my problems,
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