... *language* *poss trig* *boring*

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by LoD, Apr 15, 2007.

  1. LoD

    LoD Well-Known Member

    Why the fuck do you always make it sound like I fucking WANT to be depressed?! 'Go do something about it', yuo say, like what the fuck do you think I'm trying to do!? I've stopped the weed, I'm willing to go to a psychiatrist after I've managed to stop for 3 months, what the fuck else do you expect me to do!?

    Do you think I choose to be down all the fucking time? To not be able to hang with my friends because it depresses me?! Do you think I enjoy not being able to talk most of the time? That I am wading through this hell on my own accord? Fuck that. Want to know why I'm trying to find a psychotic problem that fits me? Why I've read up on some disorders? SO I CAN PUMP MYSELF FULL OF MEDS TO MAKE IT FUCKING BETTER. I don't want to try hundreds of meds if I can get it in one go. And the things I've read up on were fucking adviced to me by a friend, so SHUT THE FUCK UP. Stop making it sound like this is my own fucking path. I've never wanted to be like this, I've never tried to be like this, I AM FUCKING LIKE THIS. BORN FUCKING LIKE THIS AND I NEVER BLOODY PICKED IT OUT. I would've gone for the fucking 'retarded and happy' path over this bullshit ANY BLOODY DAY.

    You say I'm smart at times, that's the reason why I'm like this, want to know a secret? I'm stupid. Only thing I'm good at is English and that's it.

    You go ahead and say it: I'm doing this to myself...

    I can't even deny that... I am doing this to myself... I'm fucking thinking myself to pieces, just trust me that I didn't become this just to be able to whine and act pathetic... Only reason I tell you the things I tell you is because I thought you of all people understood me... I'm weak, I thought you knew that...
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 15, 2007
  2. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: Sven :hug:

    We'll talk, or not, whichever you feel like, hun. Either way, I'm there for you and will give you many many many big hugs when we meet up.


    Est x