Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Vitreledonellidae, Apr 18, 2007.

  1. Vitreledonellidae

    Vitreledonellidae Well-Known Member

    Fuck fuck fuck, I screwed it up today, I need to get punished for that. Fuck fuck fuck, I promised myself not to do it, so why the fuck did I do it? I need this, I want this, why do I have to ruin everything thats good for me, this can help me, fuck me. I'm so pathetic, so weak, cant get it out, god damn, worthess piece of shit, cant do a thing right. I promised myself if I would screw it up, I need to get punished for it. I hate myself, cant live with myself, cant live like this, need to go as I planned, why didnt I follow my plan, why did i do that, that one little pathetic thing, that little pathetic thing that will screw up everything.
    Tomorrow is a new day, the same lies, the same excuses, tomorrow I will do it right again, tomorrow I wont fuck it up, I cant fuck it up, I fucking need this, I fucking want this. Have to be punished! And will follow the plan tomorrow again. If I will screw it up again, will mean more punishment. That should be the trick, that should help me to follow the plan. Nope, nothing for me tomorrow and the day after.
    Cant be weak, have to stay strong, have to do this, have to do that. I HAVE to do it. So wish me luck.
    Sorry, this probly isnt making any sence. Just needed to let it all out...
  2. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    Hunni :sad:

    I don't want you to punish yourself. You know how much i care for you and will always care for you. I don't know what you've 'fucked' up but im sure its not that bad hun. Your an AMAZING, talanted girl and i really wish you could see that.

    You have my number if you ever need someone x

    Love ya :cheekkiss

    Vikkers :wink:
  3. LetItGo

    LetItGo Staff Alumni

    Please tell me this isnt about starving yourself again? Jesus Julie if that is the case you dont need to do that. Ok I might be presuming the wrong thing so im not going to say anymore about it, but I know its one of two possibilities, and yes im going to ask you about this.

    Want you to take care of yourself, and stop punishing yourself, mentally or physically. :hug: