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Last Attempt?

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by bobo, Sep 7, 2007.

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  1. bobo

    bobo Member

    The last week of August I traveled back to where I lived for many years to see some people. I fell quickly into old habits and added drinking to pills. The attempt was not planned but one night I mixed a significant about of alcohol and prescription medicine that should have had some effect. I awoke the next day. I am now back down south feeling like crap and not understanding why I can't seem to kill myself.

    Sure some of my methods may be too weak but some seemed ok. If I could pay someone I would but my luck it would be a undercover cop. Since I dont know how to cook perhaps I could choke on my own cooking. I want to die but do I give up trying because I cant do it? I have tried therapy, medication, religion, yoga and every odd little thing they have to "cure your inner soul". Perhaps an excorcisim is next.

    I feel desperate and alone. I am self harming alot as that seems to be the only thing I can do right. I wish I could talk to someone.
  2. pisces-music-girl

    pisces-music-girl Well-Known Member

    :hug: I'm sorry that you feel this way.

    PM me if you need to talk, I'll try to be here once a day (since I'm in high school).

    Take care.
  3. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I am sorry you fell back iin to the old habits. I know you have worked very hard at healing and trying to change things, but the feelings don't seem to change for long. I still understand what drives you to this hun. Know That I am there to talk with you should you choose to do so. If you no longer have my info, PM me. We will get something set up. Take care and stay safe. Lean on those here you know you can trust. :hug:
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 8, 2007
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