Last call for help

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by lav11, Jan 10, 2013.

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  1. lav11

    lav11 Well-Known Member

    doubt anyone can really help, doubt anyone even knows me or cares about me here either but hey whatever.

    you know ive always thought i had loads of friends, its the one thing i can do... school im happy, i have friends and i used to pass....
    then i started speaking to a counsellor about my home (constantly being sexually and physically abused), i worked up the courage left the state by myself at 15 and winded up ruining myself in every way and found myself spending the year in a psych ward... moved back and realise i cant handle school, i have "friends" at schoool but they dont care anymore, i never see anyone out of school. shits still going on that made me originally start talking to my counsellor.
    im just a girl who spent her whole life fighting the demons but they won and all im left with is an eating disorder, self harming, PTSD, borerline personality, severe depression, anxiety, insomnia, dysthmia, and proone to panic attacks... like seriously... whats the point

    and now cops are pressing charges against 1 of the guys who abused me an thatll be going to cout next month.. i cant hande it all

    i give up, whats it matter when no-one cares. i hate life.

    no-one will miss me
  2. lotte

    lotte Well-Known Member

    Oh my hun, that's so hard. I don't really know you or that you've been through so much, but here to pm if you need to just vent or anything. I wish I could help you more but I don't know what to say besides that you need to allow yourself time to heal and then things can get better :hug: Things will get better eventually hun, you just have to stay strong through this terrible time. You need to find more supports and you need to just focus on healing yourself right now. I'm so sorry you are feeling so low right now, but suicide isn't the answer- that won't fix anything. *BIG HUG* Call suicide hotline or go to nearest hospital- and hopefully you can find someone to help for long term problems. Do you have health insurance to cover therapy and things- because that will really help. I hope you can hold on. Just hold on with all your might and then you can figure out how to take things step by step, day by day. Hope I helped at least a little. Take care of yourself.
  3. midnightstar

    midnightstar Senior Member

    My PM box is always open if there's any way I can help hon :hug:
  4. lav11

    lav11 Well-Known Member

    things arent getting better though, they are getting worse.. always worse. Im trying to be strong and im holding on with all my might but its so difficult knowing stuff canhappen any night and ill be in even worse pain..

    i have a therapist and she is payed by the government because im underage and already at such a big suiciderisk so yeah.. its called child and youth mental health AND safety, you get assigned to them if you get put in a youth psych ward and are at high danger risk (high dependency) but i had a panic attack in my last session and havent been able to get ahold of her since..

    feels like there is no hope left.
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