I just wanted to see if there may be some words left out there I hadn't heard yet. I'm 36, Wife left me on Feb 1st, Lost my job on Feb 2nd, getting nothing but rejections for other jobs. Recovering addict and that is why my wife is going. I abused her emotionally and mentally for too long and I can't blame her. I hurt my children mentally never physically. I can never repair the damage done to them or myself. I am spending this week planning and setting thing into action to end my life. I really can't see much reason to go on. I know some of you will say the children, but, I barely see them as is and what little time I have all I can do is feel terrible for the years of damage. Wife said she doesn't know what the future holds but most likely things are over for ever after 10 years. Here I sit crying to myself yet again and everyone who I've tried to ask for help or turn to just thinks I'm being stupid and foolish and I won't hurt myself because it will devistate others. Live or die all I will do is cause pain and from my current perspective at least when I end it all the pain will fade over time. Living on all that can happen is more hurt. I'm not looking to really be talked out of this but I want to see if maybe someone outside has a new perspective for me. Thoughts are a bit jumbled so forgive if I'm rambling.