Last Ditch Effort

I have been fighting the urge to hurt myself for days now! I start an outpatient treatment tomorrow, but feel like it will be of no use. All i want is to end everything. I am trying to keep going for my children but it is getting harder and I am letting no one know what is going on. This was my last ditch effort to reach out. I hope it gets better soon!

 

I know you feel like you are in hell now. It's really difficult to have a hopeful attitude when you feel like that, but if you force yourself to have a positive attitude (noticed I say "force", which means you will have to put some effort into it) you are much more likely to see something good come out of it.

Why do you feel like this? Is there something horrible that you feel you have done, or has anybody else hurt you? The real tragedy is that many times when person A hurts person B it's person B the one who feels the urge to punish herself.

Please, don't hurt yourself. From your words, I can tell that you care about your children. Have you reached out to them, or do you feel they are too young to help you?

 

Please try to tell someone how you feel.

The outpatient treatment must help some folk or they would not bother doing it so please be open to the idea that it can help. It may not be an instant help it may just teach you techniques to make things easier to deal with.

 

And if you feel you need to be strong and fight the odds for your children, that's exactly what you have done so far, so congratulations! That's a heroic act of love, something that is very meaningful and that makes you a good person. Think about that, and enjoy that fact. And let that be an encouragement for you to continue being that person and to actually start on the path to reach somebody that can actually help you, and to begin enjoying life.

 

it might be good to tell someone who can help you what is going on.

are you getting meds now? if they haven't been working, you might be able to get them adjusted

I hope that the outpatient treatment helps!

:hug: