I have been suffering from a sinus/chest infection thing now for like a week. I was on the zpack and that is a 5 day antibiotic treatment. That ended last Sunday. Because of this illness, I have missed 3 days of work. Because of those days missed, I now have 2 more occurances. We are only allowed so many for the year. And even while I was sick, even while I was on those antibiotics, I drank. I was too sick to work yesterday, but I drank. And I as I sat in my apartment, coughing, and gagging, and drinking, and blowing my nose, and trying in vain to find a doctor that would see me, I realized how terribly alone I felt. I know...I live in the world of my creation. I am alone because of my screwups. So that is why last night, at 9pm when I laid my sick tired weary head on my pillow, I prayed as hard as I could, for God to just please, condemn me to hell.