Last Night Was One of Those Nights

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by SillyOldBear, Nov 29, 2014.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Member Safety & Support

    Last night was one of those nights. A night when I huddled in bed obsessed with thoughts of killing myself. How just one quick action, an action that would only take a second, could end it all. Could end this pointless life. The monotony. The repetition. The same old things everyday. I guess I should be grateful that this quick action is not an easy one. I guess we should all be grateful that ending one's life is such an unnatural act. If it were easy, there would be a lot fewer of us around. But I have experienced these nights before. And will experience them again. I guess I have learned how to deal with them. Just wait until morning when things are usually at least a little bit better. While there is a good chance that I will ultimately take my own life, I don't want to rush it. For there are still those brief moments when it is worthwhile to be here.

    Listening to the radio, and other media, explains a lot of our woe. It seems that it is geared to creating fear and stress. Just last night I heard that I must buy survival food with a shelf life of 25 years. I would need it when disaster strikes. I must buy insurance for all the appliances in my home for they would surely break. I must buy funeral insurance for to leave my family to foot the bill would be horrid. I must check the latest and best website for repair services for roof and yard and plumbing for surely I will need it. And, of course, I must spend and spend and spend on Christmas gifts for all. Such a world we live in. Disaster awaits at every turn, and only money will save us.

    I miss the simpler life I remember as a child. Of course, it probably was not all that simple. I just remember it that way.
     
  2. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    Sorry you had a bad night- seems lying in bed in the dark is when the thoughts get worse for many.

    You are correct about the commercialization being combined with the news to make everybody stressed- they only report the bad - in fact the 1 special interest "happy feel good" story on each hour is made such a huge deal because they pretend that was the only good thing that happened in the last 24 hour period in the world. First the news tells us all from the slant of fear politics because that works and people listen - and then the business have taken the approach in advertising that not only do they try to tell you how good their product is and how much we should want it but they have added the "and you are a crappy person if you do not do it" under tone. At least you are wise enough to see it for what it is - pure BS advertising with no basis in reality anywhere but in the media.

    Being wise comes with its own burden though. I wish there were simple easy answers - there are not- and I do not think things were necessarily easier or better years ago- but at least there were fewer hours a day of being bombarded with the negative- evening news and morning news- 5 minutes at the hour on radio- not 24/7 news networks and a whole slew of internet fear mongers...

    I hope your day does get better- you deserve a good weekend :hug:
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hugs to you that is why i do not listen to news or tv hugs
     
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    The news puts me down too but I always have an impulse to watch it and I often say I miss being a kid too, care free life. I do hope you are feeling better today Barb :hug:
     
  5. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi barb, so sorry to hear that you are down. I can understand that life is no good but you need to be strong. All of us on this forum need to remain strong.
     
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I hope you are feeling better today Barb :hug: xxx We care about you a lot.
     
  7. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Hope it's better today :hug:
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.