last night

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by ophelia28, Dec 28, 2007.

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  1. ophelia28

    ophelia28 Well-Known Member

    i messed up big time i tried again and to people who know me i am more sorry then you will ever know i let you down but i will not do this to myself anymore i spoke to someone earlier who made me realise how stupid i have beening because i keep hurting people and myself i need to stop doing this so i will so i promise no more stupidness any more i will try not to hurt myself anymore i will try and look after myself and so i am really sorry for hurting people
    please forgive for me and give me one more chance i will never do it again.
    one more thing people please dont hurt yourself its not your fault its the fault of bad people in your life that have hurt you or are hurting you please try your best to ignore them and move on with your life for the sake of the good people in your life. ignore the bad and rember the good times.
    sorry for the long thread
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 28, 2007
  2. Melancholy

    Melancholy Well-Known Member


    Well done for wanting to make a new start. You should be proud of that. You have given yourself a new start, so make the most of it, and use SF and all who care about you to help you through that. Stay strong

    Stay safe,
  3. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    I'm sorry you were feeling so badly.
    I can understand the feeling.
    Please remember people care, I care for you a lot.
    I'm glad you are going to try and do better.
    I'm also sorry I couldn't help you much earlier,
    I was not doing that good, I ODed too.

    Love ya.

    Hang in there. :hug:
  4. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    I am SO glad to see you are okay!!

    I have been worried

  5. Eric2000

    Eric2000 New Member

    I"m not on here much but you definitely have helped me a couple times. I'm really glad you're okay.
  6. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    hun there is nothing to forgive, so glad you are going to make a fresh start and work your way thru this, one day at a time.

    stay safe

    andy xx
  7. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I am glad to see you are okay and back with us. I hope you are able to hold on to your current line of thinking. Take care and stay safe. :hug:
  8. srnityblu

    srnityblu Well-Known Member

    Hello, Well the next step is to forgive yourself, you have come along way already, just please take each day as it comes, try not to dwell on the pain that you think you may have caused, you need fixing, and now is not the time to go around and try to make everyone else in your life okay and help them with dealing with this.

    You are hurting, you tried to commit suicide because of your hurt and your pain, that pain doesn't go away, in fact it has to be dealt with. Have you considered talking with someone professionally?

    You are not responsible for the way others percieve you or treat you, you are responsible for the way they make you feel. That you can control. You can choose to give away your power, and by doing so allows thier perceptions to feed on your mind like a parasite. You need to take steps to gain that control back, and that starts with being comfortable as you are. Begin to take back your life, by enjoying it. Baby steps mind you. What do ou like to do? Play video games? Try getting out and going for a walk, do some excersise such as ( IF there is snow) Setting up a game of road hockey with the neighbours, everyone loves that, even the adults! Go skating, try cross country skiing, there are alot of things to do in the snow ( If you have any)
    Perhaps take up playing the guitar, learn to right songs... There's a wonderful free demo of fruity loops ( It's a computer software that helps you create your own music) Putting a few beats to words is a wonderful accomplishment and posting on line... What I am saying is there is hidden talent in you, that has been on the sidelines far too long , it's in the shadow of other people's perseptions and really who are they? They may be friends family, co workers, accquantances, people who you haven't even met yet! Because of these perceptions, you have begun to sell yourself short. You do not have to please everyone, in fact no one, please yourself, you live your life for yourself right? Begin to take back your life by taking each day as it comes.
    Know your limits, and do not set your goals to high. Because it is easier to pick yourself back up and keep at it with smaller goals that unsurmountable ones, that will only give you a self defetest attitude, with a self fullfilling prophesy so to speak and give you the attitued of " I knew it, everyone was right" On the contrary, people are wrong! Thier judgments are wrong, and perceptions are wrong. People are fickle and phony and why would you want to be apart of that entourage anyway? You are unique and have a wonderful character with alot to give. Just don't give away all of yourself okay?
    When others hurt you, retreat to that special place in your heart that is secluded only for you, along with your hobby and take a few hours, and just enjoy being who you are! Enjoy your creation ( art, painting, drawing, music) or your activity ( hockey, basketball, skating...) and revel in your accomplishments in that moment!

    You know, because of what happened, things are going to be strained for awhile, many months of being reminded of you almost dying will probably be on every one's mind. You do not have to let it make you feel guilty in a sense that all is lost. People need time, and people are hurting. This is something that is monumental in every one's life, and it effected everyone in different ways. Thier attitude towards you may be strained, but it doesn't mean that they are not going to eventually let you off the hook. You are a sensitive person and I know that you would want them to grieve in thier own way, and that takes time. If suddenly one day " you are over it" but your friends and family are not, please just realize that everyone has thier own time to deal with things, and it may take longer for them to heal. or visa versa ( It may take you longer) Do not put time limits on this, but please do set boundaries for yourself. You do not have to allow others perceptions about you make you feel guilty. They are responsible for how they react and deal with you, as well as they are responsible for thier own judgments.
    You are responsible for how you react to those feelings, and judgments. It can be easier handled if you allow for boundaries, no I am not saying walls, allow people in, but allow you to be you, and do not let anyone interfere with who you are. Do not let others shape you into something you are not, and do not let someone's negative perseptions of you shape you into something you cannot be, or refuse to be. People pleasing is not a healthy attitude, and sometimes you have to say " The buck stops here"
    Your feelings are just that, you have to place boundaries on those as well, because many times we allow our feelings to mold us and shape us, and mingle in with our character, and before we know it, our feelings are ruling and dictating and controling our every move.

    Begin by saying no. No to your feelings, sure you can acknowledge them, but if you feel like you are becomeing over run with them, you can say " No, I am not going to give in to this, I am worthy, and my feelings do not control me. I control me. " or allow yourself to cry alittle, and then stop. Go do something that brings you peace and enjoyment. Learn to smile and laugh again.
    Saying no in a healthy productive way is not a bad thing. Even learn to say no to others.
    " UH, could you fill in for my shift at work? I have a late dinner date tonight?"
    " No."
    Do you need to offer people explanations? You don't owe others anything.
    " Why? I'll do it for you"

    This is just a blanketed example, but many times we often give away a piece of ourselves by thinking we have to placate others, and offer explanations, thinking that thier time is worth more than ours, soon we find ourselves being taken advantage of and it's harder to say no.
    This is where boundaries are needed. You have to judge when an explanation is needed, and where it is not. If you do need your space, you don't have to yell to get your point accross,
    " Mom, dad, I just need some time to myself. If I need to talk, I wil."
    " Nothing's wrong, I just want to spend sometime with my thoughts, I'll chat with you later."
    " I'm okay, really, I just would like some space, I have things to figure out."
    But make sure that when you really do need someone to talk to you do not shut them out. People are really good at reading body language, and although out of respect they will often give you the space you ask for, or need, but reading the hunched over shoulders, the inability to give eye contact sends a clear message, and they will persue the issue.

    instead of snapping, like most of us do ( I included) I have learned to take a deep breath, and say " Thank you, but I'm okay," Or " I do need to talk, but not right now."

    you have made miles stones already friend, and I am so thankful you are here!!!!! Take this time to rest, and allow others to take care of you.

    Well I said a mouthful, so have a good day resting...
    Love your friend, Shannon
  9. kath

    kath Well-Known Member

    Hey i applaud you for you wanting to make changes and start over.i admire you.i wish i could commit to what you are trying to do.And i want you to know i will be here for you through this if you need me.Contact me anytime and im sorry things had to get so bad for you first and you had to go through so much.Take care and let us know how you are doing when you feel like it.It is always good to hear from you.kath
  10. titanic

    titanic Well-Known Member

    Glad you are safe and feeling more positive about life. It's most important that you want to make these positive changes for yourself, but hopefully, you receive the right love and support to help you along the road in your personal growth. Best of luck with that! xx
  11. sarahg

    sarahg Well-Known Member

    hey oph
    we all here to help u as u do others
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