List night I flipped again. I beat my head with my fist so hard that my head got swollen, and I know I'll do it again. It's a shame that we have this fucking internet, but we can't help the mentally ill. I have been like this for the past 3 years, and I know exactly why. Bad memories don't go away. I'm constantly contemplating suicide, I no longer enjoy the things I used to enjoy, all I do is sleep and work. Life is no longer fun, why can't I die? Don't tell my that it get's better, because you are a fucking liar. It does not get better. It has not gotten better for the last 3 years. 3 years of constant hell, I can't take it anymore.