Last night..

[Jess]

Last night should of been a great night.. concert with my best friends.. party afterwards for a few at another friends house whose parents are in hawaii...

ok, concert was amazing.. first time crowd surfiing (f**k yea!) great bands.. etc. get out of there fine, sticky with traffic and all.. make it to the friends house, where everyone is already more or less SHIT faced... all the hard liquor is gone. bummer. but there's a case of beer.. so we went to town. Or well, I did.. my friend I went with had to drive so she had maybe one beer.. After I was on maybe my 6th.. or I forget how many this stupid kid is all over me all I kept thinking was I dont even know you! I'm drunk fucking leave me alone.. but he wouldn't let up! Maybe it's because he was drunk too or. I dont know.. but uhhg. I'm not a whore! :unsure: Well finally we got out of there and headed back to my friends house.. where we only ended up drinking more.. only this was bacardi apple rum... and I forget the saying.. beer before liquor.... liquor before beer and you're in the clear.. something. I dunno... but in other words I was totally fucked... so my friend decides we need to stay awake so nothing bad happens.. we're messing around blah blah blah.. and something set me off.. and I'm sitting there balling my eyes out..

I must of been laying there for a good two hours full out crying in her arms.. she's sitting there, we're both basically drunk and she has no idea why I'm crying and I just wont stop.. I can't stop.. keeps asking me what's wrong.. "What's going on? why are you crying? you can tell me.. you know you can tell me anything" and all I can do is shake my head... "I hate seeing you like this, please tell me whats wrong.. you're making me sad" :sad: after that I dont remember.. we must have fallen asleep.... or passed out... but I remember the crying...

 

[Flatliner]

It happens like that sometimes. When you're drunk secret emotions you wish you could share get beckoned to the surface by the alcohol and if there's too many emotions and too much alcohol it spills over onto the surface. There is a reason but you don't know it. I did the same last night. We were probably crying at the same time, just in different places. Sometimes crying is the only way to get something out of you. Tears grab and trap those tiny little demons in you and as your tears fall down your cheeks those demons are falling too.

 

[Jess]

Thanks flat :hug:

suppose you're right.. crying is good and usually I do feel better afterwards.. but I wish I hadn't with her.. I mean, thinking about that scene. God.. that's the first time I've had someone there to hold me as I've cried since I was a little kid... but I wish I had some answer for her..

 

[Flatliner]

Does she need an answer?

 

[Terry]

Jess just accept that she was a good enough friend to hold you thru the outburst. God what I wouldn't give for a cuddle.

If you want an excuse for the crying just say "wow I shouldn't drink that stuff it must be a depressant (some drinks are known for their depressing qualities, the most notorious is gin).

 

[Jess]

Thanks dev. and flat.

Hopefully she'll just understand...

very apreciative of her to hold on like that.. and not give up and tell me to suck it up and quit being a baby


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