Last resort thought id give this a go

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by lulu1980, Oct 5, 2011.

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  1. lulu1980

    lulu1980 New Member

    well i dont really know where to start ive been suffering from depression for nearly 20 years now and im only 31!
    Ive been on and off medication for years and have attempted suicide 4 times.
    i finally got myself back on track a few years ago but after a bad break up (which i still dont think im fully over after 3 years!) i went back on the meds. My doctors surgery is miles away and ive had trouble getting my tablets so have been without for nearly two months.
    im really feeling it and a few weeks ago i started cutting my wrists again :(
    I really dont want to feel like this again but i feel ive reached my limit and i cant cope any longer - I have noone except my two dogs to talk to - my family dont understand and think im just being stupid - i go to work come home get in my pjs and cry most evenings by myself - life shouldnt be like this at my age!!!
    My reason for depression has changed over the years starting with problems with my mum and then I got into a vicious cycle of spending money to make myself feel better only to get further and further into debt - this has now got to breaking point (im 50k+ in debt) doing an IVA and still spending! Last week my car got broken into, my uncle and my old next door neighbour died and I found out my dad has got skin cancer so its been a pretty crappy month!
    Anyway thank you for taking the time to read my post I know my problems are probably nothing compared to some people but I cant help the way im feeling :(
  2. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    Hi Louise,

    No worries! :hug: Your problems are something, not nothing, in my book! A lot of people here say the same thing about how their problems don't measure up to others. I say the same things about my own problems, but when I hear others say that theirs don't measure up, I can't help but feel that they are suffering, not unlike others here. In any case, I hope you get back on track with your meds, are able to work out things financially (eventually), and that your family stays OK. Lastly, welcome to the forums and I hope you have a good day....Alex
  3. Moses

    Moses Well-Known Member


    I'm sorry to hear all of this is happening to you. You're right, no one should have to deal with what you are.

    If your family won't understand, find a friend that will (like people on this forum?). You don't have healthy outlets for your feelings which probably lead to your excessive spending, but I'm no expert.

    My dad was actually diagnosed with Skin Cancer a little over a year ago. The good news is, there's treatment for it. I was really scared when I heard my dad had cancer (he's like a superhero to me), but he's doing fine, and hopefully, your dad will, too.
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