Last Sign,Method Ready-Just need courage

Hi,

I dont post here very often,b/c I feel like I have gotten criticized and/or censored for speaking my true feelings. But Im posting one last time,because I feel like I need to say to somebody,since I cant to any "real" people in my life,that it is done. I keep getting sign after sign after sign that I am better off dead. I've posted a chunk of my story in other threads,search if you are interested. Anyway,I've exhausted all avenues of help.Maybe drugs,therapy,diet changes,suicide hotlines,hospitalization,support groups,etc etc have helped and will help others,but its just not going to happen for me.

I'm tired of waking up in pain,going through the day and getting slapped in the face with other symbols of a life I can never have,and being continually rejected and ridiculed.I cry myself to sleep every night,praying for God to take me,and I cry when I wake and I'm still here.

Without revealing too much,I have done some research and found a humane method of ending my pain. I have procurred the necessary tasks,and tested it. Its ready to go.

I am not asking anyone to post or PM me with sappy "get help," "dont do it" or "life is beautiful" crap. But if anyone is of like mind,and would like to freely discuss pain,please feel free to post or PM me if you want to talk censor free. No,I am not looking for a pact,just people WHO FEEL LIKE ME to talk to.

Otherwise,thanks for letting me post.If you want to bestow prayers or wishes,do so in that I get enough courage to go through with it. If I were a dog in this much pain,I would be put down,and it wouldnt be looked upon poorly.Please,instead of pity,or false kindness,just wish me for to be out of pain.Thats all i want anymore.

Thanks,and good luck to you all.

 

Sunbird,

The history books are full of examples of people that we all think are great, who didn't become great at first try, or second try, or third try, or tenth try. They didn't become great by 25, or by 30, or by 40, or even in a few cases by 55.

But they are in the history books, and they did become great, even against all odds.

Be a participant. Keep breathing. You might just be great.

 

<mod edit: *sparkle* : inappropriate>


but anyways can i ask one last thing what is your story, please i am very terrible at the search function, i would like to hear the whole story down to the color of the shirt you wore when you first realized you must end your life, what were you feeling, did you take time to feel your feelings or did you not notice them, what pain are u feeling, have you taken a vacation recently? moved to china for a year? i know these things sometimes help people, and you did not talk of using either,

 

Roscho,

I dont want to be great. Just loved and belonging to someone.

 

<mod edit: *sparkle* : removed quote as from another edited post>
This forum is a pro-life forum and we do try ways to prevent suicide from happening.
do you want to share with us what has happened to you and why are you thinking of ending your life? :hug:

 

Sunbird,

I understand that quite a bit. When I get low, I've usually been there alone. Right now, I've been teetering on the brink. Another member here has helped me see through the fog a little bit. I might be out of love and companionship at the moment, but its only for a moment. I will love and have companionship again. You will too.