Hi, I dont post here very often,b/c I feel like I have gotten criticized and/or censored for speaking my true feelings. But Im posting one last time,because I feel like I need to say to somebody,since I cant to any "real" people in my life,that it is done. I keep getting sign after sign after sign that I am better off dead. I've posted a chunk of my story in other threads,search if you are interested. Anyway,I've exhausted all avenues of help.Maybe drugs,therapy,diet changes,suicide hotlines,hospitalization,support groups,etc etc have helped and will help others,but its just not going to happen for me. I'm tired of waking up in pain,going through the day and getting slapped in the face with other symbols of a life I can never have,and being continually rejected and ridiculed.I cry myself to sleep every night,praying for God to take me,and I cry when I wake and I'm still here. Without revealing too much,I have done some research and found a humane method of ending my pain. I have procurred the necessary tasks,and tested it. Its ready to go. I am not asking anyone to post or PM me with sappy "get help," "dont do it" or "life is beautiful" crap. But if anyone is of like mind,and would like to freely discuss pain,please feel free to post or PM me if you want to talk censor free. No,I am not looking for a pact,just people WHO FEEL LIKE ME to talk to. Otherwise,thanks for letting me post.If you want to bestow prayers or wishes,do so in that I get enough courage to go through with it. If I were a dog in this much pain,I would be put down,and it wouldnt be looked upon poorly.Please,instead of pity,or false kindness,just wish me for to be out of pain.Thats all i want anymore. Thanks,and good luck to you all.