Why is it that every time it feels like it's getting better, it just gets worse again? I don't want any more of this constant disappointment, the one person who I thought could help me is no longer there. The thought of killing myself is always there, so why don't I do it? There's no point being unhappy if I need to be. I don't care anymore. I'm not bothered about the consequences, about what might be achieved if I don't go through with it. I just want to die. I don't feel sad though. I feel relief knowing that I don't have to put up with this anymore, all my negative feelings will be gone. In a few hours with any luck, I'll be gone. So I suppose this could be seen as a goodbye thread in a way. Thanks for everyone who has ever replied to any thread of mine, thanks for giving a shit. You're better than most people in my life right now. Best of luck to all of you, see you on the other side. That's all.