Last thoughts

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Thinice, Mar 3, 2009.

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  1. Thinice

    Thinice Well-Known Member

    Why is it that every time it feels like it's getting better, it just gets worse again? I don't want any more of this constant disappointment, the one person who I thought could help me is no longer there. The thought of killing myself is always there, so why don't I do it? There's no point being unhappy if I need to be.

    I don't care anymore. I'm not bothered about the consequences, about what might be achieved if I don't go through with it. I just want to die. I don't feel sad though. I feel relief knowing that I don't have to put up with this anymore, all my negative feelings will be gone. In a few hours with any luck, I'll be gone.

    So I suppose this could be seen as a goodbye thread in a way. Thanks for everyone who has ever replied to any thread of mine, thanks for giving a shit. You're better than most people in my life right now. Best of luck to all of you, see you on the other side.

    That's all.
  2. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    What's going on? You can get better, you know that right? Don't do something that may be a permanent response to a temporary situation.

    Talk to us, talk to the ER and tell them you are Acutely Suicidal. Give it a chance. Get help.
  3. Mandy1

    Mandy1 Antiquities Friend & Senior Member

    I agree with forpetesake please keep talking,tell us whats happened,give it a try,dont give up hun were here to help if we can.
  4. Thinice

    Thinice Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the concern, but it's pretty irrelevant really. In 2 months it hasn't got the slightest bit better. As soon as my parents go to bed tonight, I'm going out and doing it.
  5. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Thinice, hun, forpetessake and amanda1 are right - things can and will improve.

    The unfortunate thing is that when we have problems, we'd like them to go away with a snap of the fingers. The world just doesn't work that way. If it did, no one would ever have any issues or face even good challenges.

    Give yourself time to heal from whatever in life has hurt you, and then move on from there. Enough time - more than two months to fix things. Stay safe, hun.
  6. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Sweetie, are you there? Please talk to us. What's happening, hun?
  7. Thinice

    Thinice Well-Known Member

    Hey, I'm here.

    Not that I don't appreciate the concern, but there isn't much to talk through really. I'm not upset or hysterical or anything, I've just made up my mind about what I'm going to do and then when I have the chance, I'll do it.
  8. Mandy1

    Mandy1 Antiquities Friend & Senior Member

    Try to say what made you make this decision.
  9. SpencerA

    SpencerA Well-Known Member

    i'm really hoping you will reconsider.
  10. Mandy1

    Mandy1 Antiquities Friend & Senior Member

    Tom i care and i hope you change your mind,talk if you can.
  11. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    :hug: Thinice, I hope you will reconsider, you would be badly missed :hug:
  12. Thinice

    Thinice Well-Known Member

    There was no specific event which made me decide, I don't think. Things have been bad for a while now and I've already had one failed attempt. I just realised that things aren't getting any better and I doubt they ever will.

    You all know what it's like, I don't think I really need to explain.
  13. Troubled2008

    Troubled2008 Well-Known Member

    I think there's always a better future. You just have to have the guts to stick it through the worst times and work hard on the solutions. Sometimes all of the problems and solutions aren't obvious. Sometimes people think they only have one problem but have many. Example:

    Person loses job and gets depressed so he stops eating. Then, he's sick and depressed because he's not eating. He starts drinking alcohol instead of eating, furthering the depression and making it all worse.

    This is just an example of how sometimes, there are several problems that have to be addressed so it's not just fixing one part of it. Like if you had a car with no gas and a flat tire, pumping up the tire won't do all that much good. Anyhow... Maybe that makes sense...

    One thing that really REALLY helps me is I've gotten into the peace and zen thing. It never worked for me before but it really does now. I think what made it work was I watched this video by a meditation instructor which is mostly just a self-promotion because he makes money helping people.... but something about the way he described peace in this video made me think differently about it. Here it is if you're interested:

    I used to get myself upset all the time because I'm a really high-wired person... but it was to the point where I couldn't deal with any of my problems. When I started embracing the peaceful life, I started to feel a lot better. And I have a medication that helps too. I also bought, off of Amazon, The Secret Power Within by Chuck Norris. It's about "zen solutions to real problems." It's great. It's not all wierd and technical like a lot of zen books. He makes it real simple and tells his life stories and how it helped him be who he is today. I only paid like 5 bucks or something used. :)
  14. flowerpot

    flowerpot Well-Known Member

    I truly truly truly truly truly truly truly truly truly truly TRULY hope you don't do anything.. please.. :sad:
  15. Angelo_91

    Angelo_91 Well-Known Member

    I respect you man. I respect people that say Ill see you on the other side. Cause thats what I would say. See you on the other side.
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