Last topic here..

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Digital Angel, Apr 14, 2009.

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  1. Digital Angel

    Digital Angel Well-Known Member

    I'm not posting this to have anyone tell me not to kill myself or any of that shit as I've already made up my mind and it's become apparent people on here are useless as providing help. You are either outright ignored, given a half-assed solution, or told things will get better which they fucking won't.

    I'm not doing it in the immediate future depending on your definition of it (I figure I will linger on a few months) and either way this will be the last topic I post on here.

    Anyone could have helped me at any point with just a little bit and I would well on my way to being self-sufficient. Of course in this society you have to be mother fucking insane to get any help at all and even then you get inadequate help. And I'm fine that no one gives a shit me, that's human nature to not give a fuck about something that is just fucking leeching off you, it's evolution. You need to regulate anything for anything to truly get done. But it's fucking bullshit that our government is fucking worthless and at any fucking point if I was given a job, or opportunity to fucking do anything I would have been incredible.

    I've applied to 25 places in the last year and have only gotten two interviews. I've had one offer for a job at a knives sale place and was told I was easy to talk to and good with people. Of course my car tires got slashed so I couldn't show up for my orientation. Of course it was who live downstairs and I really truly am not racist even though the vast majority of the time I am being fucked with it is a XX person. My engine was then destroyed after I got my tires fixed. The other jobs I've applied for I've been boned at and had some stupid XXX properly get hired over me because of Affirmative Action bullshit.

    It's a shame that I live in the richest fucking country in the damn world and people here are needlessly suffering all the time because of stupid moronic bullshit. We already know the republican half of the country are morons wanting tax cuts in a FUCKING DEPRESSION and the liberals only look respectable because the republicans are just THAT bad but they are also retarded and pretty much morally bankrupt as well.

    We brainwash our children with religion and do a shitty job fucking raising them and we end up drugging children with concentrated crack (amphetamines and methylphenidates) and if this is the best we can do in the richest country on earth it's fucking pathetic. I'm never going to resort to violence even before I die just ot make that clear but it's no fucking wonder kids are fucking XXXs. No one gives a shit until you are in the damn grave and even when you give people the most blatant fucking warning signs possible you are still ignored.

    When I blow my head off and all my potential is wasted forever it's going to be a real fucking shame. I can't even explain how much fucking potential I have and how smart I've realized I am but none of you would be able to understand. I have so much potential for so many things but they will never happen now. It seems like I am just saying this but I'm not. Just have been busy destroying my things and will be lingering on for however long I can. Can't deal with the isolation anymore or any of this and when I die it won't matter to anyone that my life was wasted for no reason. I've tried my hardest for years now and am just done.
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 14, 2009
  2. I know.. I've been getting half-assed replies myself, man. This country has indeed turned to complete shit. Where's the fairness? Why should good Americans have to put up with such trash? Instead of yelling at the sky at some imaginary figure up in the clouds, our lives shouldn't have to be so fucking hard.

    How you talk about how smart you are, at least you give yourself some credit. I, however, am smart, but I feel too fucking pathetic and worthless to feel good about myself. Because of shit I put up with in the past, I have virtually no self-esteem except the kind of motivation to fuck somebody up if they decide to go that route with me.

    I'm having a shitty ass time myself trying to get a decent job. I got a fucking degree for Christ's sake and I can't get shit with it. It's like fucking toilet paper.

    Anyway, I won't clog up your thread too much. Good luck to you. Not sure what else I can say.. I hate fucking life and every god damned person in it (with few exceptions, okay). I wish I could smuggle nuclear bombs near the center of the Earth and detonate that shit one day.
  3. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I don't know what else to say to you because it sounds like your mind is made up.. This forum is supportive and has helped numerous people icluding myself from ending it.. You are fairly new here so haven't really given it a chance to help support you.. You have to participate to get replys.. I'm sorry you feel invisible here but it happens.. I left the forum because of the same reason. But then I realised I was getting support.. And I also missed helping others.. Life sucks right now and you need to take whatever job comes your way because there are thousands in the same shoes you wear.. You have alot of competition as far as employment.. If you go in an interview looking all down you won't be considered. You need to have a bright outlook on things to get an employer to take notice of you..I hope you give the forum more of a chance to help you!!!
  4. Digital Angel

    Digital Angel Well-Known Member

    If I had a job, had a significant other, or had money, or a car, or anything going for me I'd probably be okay and be able to fix the other things.

    I hate my life and get almost no enjoyment out of living anymore. The weather is depressing, I have few or shitty friends, and I'm still obsessed with a girl who doesn't even live here.

    Fuck this stupid world.
  5. Regenesis

    Regenesis Well-Known Member

    I like your name "Digital Angel"
  6. spleen

    spleen Member

    I realize I'm not your friend or anything (what is a friend anyway?), but from what you write I think we have a lot in common.

    Feel free to send a PM if you want to discuss privately.
  7. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    First of all, I'm really sorry you're not happy with the replies you've gotten here. But we're not professionals. All we can do is offer support and friendship.

    Finding work right now sucks. I'm in the computer field but not having much luck when it comes to finding a job.

    Not sure what else I can say; if you ever feel like talking or venting, you can drop me a PM anytime.
  8. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    These are tough economic times for everyone and jobs are not easy to come by. As I don't know a great deal about you, I am only speculating on a few things. When you go to a job interview or on site to fill out an application, how are you dressed? Is your hair clean and well kept? What kind of image are you putting forth? Do you have tattooes or body piercings? Many prospective employers are wary of hiring someone that is not well dressed or seem to have excess piercings. Maybe it is the image you portray that is holding you back. I can't say this is your case, but it may be worth looking into.
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