Last try

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by schniffy, Mar 4, 2010.

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  1. schniffy

    schniffy Member

    Tomorrow I am finally able to talk to a professional. I am a little worried they will lock me up or something but I have to do this. Cant live like this anymore. This thing is been with me now for 6 week's. It feel's like I cant go on another day. Hope I can finally get some answers why I am feeling this crappy. Maybe I can get a little hope at least that one day I will be feeling better if not there is now way I can go on like this. I don't want to die I just want this pain to stop.
    I am trying to write a goodbye letter for my son in case thing's don't work out for me this is so hard.
    Thanks everybody You all have been so nice. I will keep you updated.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Your son should be the reason you fight yuo stay You will only pass on the pain to him the suidical tendancies to him. I hope they do give you some in time at hospital to get your depression under control for your sake and your sons. depression is treatable the sadness can go away with meds and therapy hang on
     
  3. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Try and write down all your symptoms and problems and things you need help with so that if you can't speak you can hand it over. That can ease some pressure.

    Its good you don't want to die, and I completely hear you need your pain to stop. There are so many effective ways to make the pain stop (such as by seeking help, and trying a wide variety of things) that doesn't dessimate everyone elses life (like your son's and other family).

    Good luck at the doctors!
     
  4. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    well done Schniffy for getting some help...takes courage but it's worth it.....
    hugs
     
  5. schniffy

    schniffy Member

    Well I did it what a nightmare. I went to one of those hospitals someone from the hot line recommended. It was so bad I thought I will never get out of there.
    I had an assessment for 5 minutes with a doctor and he told me to admit myself and immediately said if I don't sign he will commit me in by court.
    At that point I knew better not to fight I came there because I expected help.
    After I had to strip down butt naked and they finished the search they just locked me up in the unit and that was it. I never felt so uncomfortable and abandoned in my life and all the sudden I realized that my experience there totally outweight the depression that I had before going in, all I wanted was to leave. I never seen a hospital that dirty before. The nurses gave me a couple of prozac and that was it. I told them I wanted to leave and they said that the doctor is coming some time the next day and only he can decide that. I was there from 5 am Friday until I finally saw a doctor at 2 pm Saturday.
    That doc was a lot nicer then the other one and I had to use all my manipulative skills for him to discharge me. Even though this was the worst experience I ever had in my life it created something positive I look at thing's now at a different perspective and miraculously I am feeling TON'S better being back at home with my son.
     
  6. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    so glad to hear you are feeling better and are back home with your son....
    it was worth the hospital visit if it's made you feel glad to be home again...
    I bet your son is happy too...
     
  7. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    It sounds a bit crass to say 'that's fantastic', but it is, because you've found something really positive from it.

    I would suggest writing down about the whole experience, so that if the need ever arises, you can read it over and remember how lucky you are to be at home with your son.
     
  8. schniffy

    schniffy Member

    Yes I will write it down it's a good idea.
    I never ever wanna go back to that place. My Life is heaven compared to that.
    At night every 5 min some staff member would come in my room and hold a flashlight in my face. Suicide watch I guess ???
    Just that feeling of not being able to go where you want was the hardest.
    I looked out the window at the car's driving by so close but yet so far away. After a few hour's I needed a cigarette sooooooooo bad. The only support I got was from the other patient's, hearing there stories all my problem's started shrinking.
    Like I said this whole experience I am looking at my life in a totally new perspective everything is new now.
    I am thinking about going back to school to become a therapist or something they need some compassion in those hospital's I just want to help these people now. Most of them in there have NOBODY. Out of the 20 staff member's I met maybe one acted like she care's. Must be hard being a nurse but that's no excuse for being plain mean. OK got to go to have some fun with my boy now.
     
  9. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    that is amazing Schniffy...
    what a good idea to try to help others.....shows real compassion and empathy...
    something the medical proffession is sadly lacking.
     
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