Tomorrow I am finally able to talk to a professional. I am a little worried they will lock me up or something but I have to do this. Cant live like this anymore. This thing is been with me now for 6 week's. It feel's like I cant go on another day. Hope I can finally get some answers why I am feeling this crappy. Maybe I can get a little hope at least that one day I will be feeling better if not there is now way I can go on like this. I don't want to die I just want this pain to stop. I am trying to write a goodbye letter for my son in case thing's don't work out for me this is so hard. Thanks everybody You all have been so nice. I will keep you updated.