Last Week

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by dani_badseeds, Mar 4, 2007.

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  1. Suicide (thoughts, feelings, attempts and so forth) are nothing new to me. Sometimes I think i'm just prolonging the inevitable, like my ultimate suicide will be preemptive from all the time i've wanted it so bad.
    Last week was like any other really, it'd been a good 6 or so months since my last attempt so I was feeling like I was going pretty damn well as far as offing oneself off goes. I was sitting at home, a mood swing had struck, but it wasn't a bad one. Usually a mild one won't make my head hurt, but this one seemed to so I went to the bathroom to find something to get rid of it but instead of me stopping after i'd had 2 I just kept going and going. I had completely shifted gears and now most of the "helpful" drugs in the cabinet had immediately become a door. After I had my fill I went to my room and put on "The Boatman's' Call" (Nick Cave And The Bad Seeds, not used to be music people would hear when they find me, just something to relax myself).
    Halfway into Into My Arms it kicked in and twisted my guts, it was like someone had put the candy in my mouth and then ripped out my teeth when the time was right. I can't remember when I passed out but it wasnt long at all.
    When I woke up the cd was finished and my sheets were covered in vomit. My face was sticky as hell and all I could taste in my mouth was lentels. Not the finest way to wake up. The first few days after I was getting pretty bad stomach cramps and headaches but they seem to be going now. Seems prescription drugs give you a better hangover than any illegal drug or booze haha. thanks for reading.. if you do
  2. Beret

    Beret Staff Alumni

    Im sorry dani you had to go through such an experience. perhaps you want to call your counselour today and tell him what happened. you deserve to feel better. Youre in my thoughts and prayers, dont give up,
  3. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I am sorry to hear you had to go through that dani. I hiope things start looking up for you soon. Do you know what causes you to have these feelings? Most often times we really have no idea, but sometimes we can narrow it down to specific times ir events that have occurred. Then we work to eliminate those issues. I hope yours can be changed so you can get rid of these terrible feelings. Take care hun. :hug:
  4. thanks for the kind words. "And the wind it bit bitter."
    I can see now why people find it so easy to talk here
  5. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    Awww :hug: I too... am sorry to hear you had to go through that dani. :hug: That's awful. If you'd ever like to talk, just send me a PM... My PM box is always open for you! :) :hug: :hug: :flowers:
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