Last year I had a heart attack

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by YODA1066, Jun 20, 2015.

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  1. YODA1066

    YODA1066 Well-Known Member

    Last year I had a heart attack in front of my girlfriend and since then I have been trying to push her away, I am scared that if I have another one and the worst happens that she will not be able to cope and do something stupid herself due to her M/H issues, she has told me that she will commit suicide if I die and I do believe that she would I love her so much that I don’t want her to do anything stupid if I die so I push her away to protect her from the pain she will feel if I die from another heart attack, I would rather that she hates my guts for the rest of my life than have her go through the pain of me dying,
    Is this selfish of me? I don’t want to lose her because believe it or not I do love her but I don’t want her to deal with my death as I don’t want her to do something herself
    So I should push her away right to protect her
    Or am I being a jerk?
     
  2. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    I have been very ill for sometime with a chronic and ultimately terminal condition. I was very concerned about the wife and children dealing with it on a daily basis and was very easy to try to pull away and isolate from them for the same reasons. Ultimately though, the same thing that made it so i could deal with this condition applied to to isolating- nobody knows when they will die and of what. There have been people that were very healthy when I first got sick that have died since I got sick and I am still here- including my mother and and mother in law and a cousin- all healthy when i got congestive heart failure and all died since while i am still here- sick but alive and helping and supporting my family.

    Since regardless of what our health history is we really do not know how much longer we have , sorry, yes, you are not being reasonable to push her away due to some unforeseeable future event, and the fact is she could still die before you. If you are concerned for her mental health and love her then treat her decent and not saddle her with self esteem and and abandonment issues from some invented sense of duty to protect her. Help her improve her mental health by loving and supporting her so when something does happen which is inevitable for every person on Earth eventually she will be stronger and in a better position to deal with it is my suggestion.

    I have also had 2 heart attacks in the years since - a heart attack is not a sign of imminent death, just the way your body tells you it is time to pay closer attention to how you treat it.
     
  3. YODA1066

    YODA1066 Well-Known Member

    guess i needed to hear it from a straight talking person someone who has been there i DO love her and i worry about her even when she isn't with me i guess i just want to protect her from losing me,
     
  4. What

    What Active Member

    Everyone dies inevitably, if you actually have someone to share good vibes with for a while don't squander it for goodness sake.
     
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