I'm late to work a few days out of every week. I lie in my bed for a few hours, crying alone while hugging a pillow. My employer seems tolerant...for now. Someday, this will catch up to me. The therapist and psychiatrist aren't enough. I'm on Lexapro and a Wellburtin clone, yet still cry and think of suicide. The shrink put me on a Lamictal clone two weeks ago, but that resulted in an emergency room visit from the severe rash it gave me. So much for that mood stabilizer. I don't have many places to go for help online, when I'm crying alone at night. SF is comforting, but it just isn't capable of handling the issues of people with gender dysphoria. Dedicated transgender forums like TrueSelves can't handle posts about suicide. Posting to anonymous transgender forums like 420chan's /cd/ just doesn't get responded to. All I have at home is my cat, who thankfully doesn't care which gender I feel inside. She purrs and loves me regardless.