Laughs galore!!!!!!!!

Discussion in 'The Coffee House' started by shades, Jan 2, 2011.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    WINNERS OF THIS YEAR’S WASHINGTON POST MENSA INVITATIONAL.... AND MORE.
    > > A LIGHTER TOUCH.
    > >
    > > Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word
    > > from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter and
    > > supply a new definition:
    > >
    > > 1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject
    > > financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
    > > 2. Ignoranus: A person who is both stupid and an asshole.
    > > 3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize
    > > it was your money to start with.
    > > 4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
    > > 5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas
    > > from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking
    > > down in the near future.
    > > 6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting
    > > laid.
    > > 7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
    > > 8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who
    > > doesn’t get it.
    > > 9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
    > > 10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
    > > 11. Karmageddon: It’s, like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad
    > > vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious
    > > bummer.
    > > 12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only
    > > things that are good for you.
    > > 13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
    > > 14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come
    > > at you rapidly.
    > > 15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve
    > > accidentally walked through a spider web.
    > > 16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom
    > > at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
    > > 17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit
    > > you’re eating.
    > >
    > >
    > > The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly
    > > contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common
    > > words. And the winners are:
    > >
    > > 1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
    > > 2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
    > > 3. Abdicate, v To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
    > > 4. Esplanade, v, To attempt an explanation while drunk.
    > > 5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
    > > 6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a
    > > nightgown.
    > > 7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
    > > 8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
    > > 9. Flatulence, n.. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who’s been run over
    > > by a steamroller.
    > > 10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
    > > 11. Testicle n. A humorous question on an exam.
    > > 12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
    > > 13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
    > > 14 . Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with yiddishisms.
    > > 15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto
    > > the roof and gets stuck there.
    > > 16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
    > >
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 2, 2011
  2. 1izombie

    1izombie Well-Known Member

    lol these are really good ... made me laugh so hard in crying lol...i especially like the Washington post list...too funny.
     
  3. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    OMG I laughed out loud
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.