Laura Jayne - My One And Only

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by Lord Sidious, May 7, 2013.

  1. Lord Sidious

    Lord Sidious New Member

    It will be five weeks since we've talked to each other on Friday. (Although I'm sure I text you last week while I was drunk I loved you but bar that, lol.) I feel lost without you. I can't stop thinking about you. I feel numb.

    I want to try and move on about I can't. I just can't. This place I live in reminds me of you all the time. Everything we did together is just a constant reminder and I want to run away and start again, somewhere with no memories. It's hard not to think about you as I have OCD and the more I try not to think about you, the more you come into my mind.

    Almost like you're haunting me. That beautiful smile of yours. I couldn't believe a girl like you let a lad like me into your life. I still feel so lucky. You're the most gorgeous person ever and I love you so much.

    I've told other girls before I've loved them but something was different with you. I saw a future with you. I never had that feeling before. I could have seen myself getting married to you and having kids. That was the difference.

    But I messed up. My biggest regret of my whole life. I will carry this with me forever. You were my biggest opportunity to be happy and I literally threw it away.

    I lost my job three weeks ago. I don't even know if you know or even care? I've turned to self harm for the first time in my life, starting doing drugs again and drinking so much alcohol it's unreal.

    But none of this will get you back. Nothing will get you back now. You've clearly moved on and I'm sorry I hurt you. We had so much potential.

    I will always love you and there isn't a moment that goes by where I don't miss you.

    Thank you and I'm sorry.
  2. Lifeisagift

    Lifeisagift Well-Known Member

    Dude... :hug:
    I know how you feel. Very well. I am sorry for your break up because your story looked sweet. Unfortunately things like that happen. And no matter how you try you can't go back to the past and change anything. You have to go ahead. I am truly sorry for you and for what i'm about to tell you but you can't keep going like this. I was in your case 2 years ago, drinking, self harming, taking drugs, pills, smoking...things everyday plus i was totally alone, had no support, for finally being on the edge of killing myself.
    The thing is that if she's the only person in your mind right know please think about the fact that you're in the mind of many people. Your family, your friends... You matter for many people.

    Now you probably won't like what you'll read but i have to tell you this.
    Do you really think that dying slowly like this is the best way to show her how much you love her ? If you still love her you have to live, to be the person you always dreamed of before you knew her. I know how much it hurts when you feel she's "the good one" and finally everything crumbles beneath your feet. Girls represent the half of humanity i don't worry about the fact that one day you'll meet an amazing girl with a beautiful smile and marry her and have kids, but the priority is to keep what you can under control. Time will heal such heart wounds.

    But please... if you wanna keep something from her in your mind it's the fact that she doesn't want you to come down.

    Take care
  3. kosmiklove

    kosmiklove New Member

    i know how you feel man, i had the same experience .... it is hurts... alot ... but we have to move on ......
    i don't know when will i move on but someday i will.......
  4. emily83

    emily83 Well-Known Member

    sorry for your loss.


    i know you'll get through it