I just had my grandfather who I rarely talk to call me up just to specifically tell me that he's pissed at me and to call me lazy. He said that I should be pounding the pavement every morning and a bunch of other shit because he still thinks finding work now is anything like it was when he was my age. He told me he'd give me a truck if I got a job in the next week. I have a POS truck already and I'd rather keep it than just jump at what he wants from me. After all this is the man who raised my father so well that he abandoned me when I was 11 and why nothing I do is ever good enough. Then after this delightful phone call my mom gets pissed at me and calls me lazy too. Maybe I am. But I'm sure everyone would just be a bundle of energy when you have nothing happy in your life. Everything I wanted is no where near my grasp and everything I once had has been destroyed. I have no empathy, no patience, nothing. Just anger and frustration. Every interaction I have with the world just makes me want to kill. Myself or someone else. By the end of this week, I will not be the same. I will either be dead, or I will be permanently injured from the attempt. I'll prove I'm not as lazy as they think. I'm just not working on what they want me to do.