Learn to become more compatable to society?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by NovaStark, Jul 28, 2012.

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  1. NovaStark

    NovaStark New Member

    The cycle of my life keeps repeating. I get up, go to work and return back to my home. (I live with my parents because well, I can't really survive on my own). I barely have any friends but I have people that claim to be my friend but well when I am around them I am only reminded of how alone I really am.

    Even at work, I get so exhausted from just smiling and laughing at everything that anyone says. It's even worse when I have to talk to everyone and interact.

    I don't even want to get started on the suicidal thoughts I have daily as this might just become a big wall of text and well I've been given the "there are other people with worse problems than yours" thing. I really don't want to look like I am just complaining here.

    My main question is, does anyone have any simple advice for being able to do basic the basic things such as socially interacting? Or how to just ignore my problems so that I can get by easier?


    I apologize if these same ideas have been said and done already, I am a bit new here.
     
  2. Freya

    Freya Loves SF Staff Member ADMIN

    Hi NovaStark

    The only real advice I have regarding being able to do the basic social interraction thing is practise and push your boundries. I know both of those things sound unappealing, but unfortunately there are no easy answers. The more you do something, the more comfortable you will be with it. And once you are comfortable, you go out of your way to do the next thing that makes you uncomfortable etc. Far far easier said than done - especially by me - but nontheless the only way I know to get better at anything, especially this.

    And for the "people with worse problems" thing - that is not the way of things, certainly not here. The size/scale/severity of a problem is not comparable - how you feel about that problem is what matters. Please post here as much and as openly as you want/need. You will be heard.

    Take care
    Lu :hug:
     
  3. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    It is difficult to give much pointed advice for your situation as i do not have enough specific information to go on. The only one certainty I am confidant with saying is simply "just ignore my problems so that I can get by easier?" is almost never the answer as it tends to make things worse rather than better.
    My questions would be in no particular order at all -
    What , if you know, started these feelings?
    Have you or are you currently been seen by Gr or therapist,psychiatrist, etc?
    Have you tried or are you on medications?
    What things bring you happiness or relief?

    If you are comfortable enough to share any of these answers on here , or by private message to me, then we might be able to give you more specific advice based on out own similar experiences. Nobodies problems are more important than another persons so feel free to share.

    Take Care and Be Safe

    Ben
     
  4. NovaStark

    NovaStark New Member

    Re: Learn to become more compatible to society?

    Thanks, well I do try since I have to be around people at work, but it's just sometimes quite hard. Mainly because people expect you to automatically be outgoing and love talking to everyone about everything.

    From what I can remember, I started to feel that way from about 15 (I am 22 now). I can't really say what the root cause was which is a bit frustrating. I can say that it became worse after I was rejected by a girl that I had known for some time, but I expected that. (So I guess guilt sort of exacerbated things there). (Pretty pathetic, I know)

    I currently don't see any sort of counselor for it. I was considering going to see the university psych. center but time didn't permit me and I was too preoccupied with drinking all the time.

    As for the happiness/relief part, I tried ignoring everything and forced myself to be around "friends", but eventually I just couldn't do it and eventually ended up just moping around them (which lead to the "someone has it worse than you" thing). I used to play guitar, video games and such things. However, for the last 5 years, after sometime, I stopped feeling any sort of relief from anything I tried to do. This sort of lead me to a belief that "happiness" can't be real as it will never last for any appreciable amount of time and you'd just end up back to square one.

    I know from reading this you might get the idea that I am quite a child in my head, but I am trying to make things less miserable one step at a time.

    Thanks for reading this.
     
  5. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    Re: Learn to become more compatible to society?

    I am sure you are already aware that drinking is a depressant and in no way helps you it is more than a very occasional thing - since you implied that it was often enough that it got in the way of things like an appointment then it is more than that. You mentioned getting exhausted trying to deal with people hour after hour at work as well - I may suggest hangovers do not help that.

    Make an appt and seek professional help for anxiety and depression. I am sure they can do an evaluation if something as simple as a couple pills a day may substantially improve your quality of life and with the loss of depression you may find the ability to start enjoying other things again.

    Wishing you strength and best of luck,

    Ben
     
  6. NovaStark

    NovaStark New Member

    Re: Learn to become more compatible to society?

    Yeah I know, but after some time, it just became a sleep aid more than to get drunk. I think I should make one but I really am afraid that I will just go into a default mode and just give them one word answers or just not talk a lot.
     
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