Leave it alone

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by total eclipse, Jul 22, 2009.

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  1. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I got a very bad reaction to this comment on a different forum but here it goes. Is not knowing not enough i mean i know what the issues are and why i am hurting so bad then why can't it be left alone now. Leave the past there and move on One doctor said try walking away from meds and therapy and see what that brings you. YOu will be sorry. well i say ya lets do it. All the bs from the past is bring me pain and i don't need that i need to move on past all this and accept where i am today. Leave it alone as nothing will undue the past nothing will make it better so leave it alone. My question on the other post was has anyone just walked away at this point and said knowing was enough and leave it at that. I don't need people getting mad at me i just need to know can it be done just move on thanks mary
  2. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni

    This isn't my approach but I suppose it can be done.
    It sounds like you've at least looked at things and acknowledge what's happened.
    I would guess that you are feeling worse because when all those feelings come up, you probably will feel worse, but it is temporary. And my opinion would be that it's better to feel those feelings and get them out then walk with them under the surface for a while. Obviously don't obsess over them and let them ruin your life, but make sure nothing gets buried either.
    But, if you are in a place where it is too difficult to deal with the feelings and you're feeling suicidal then it probably would be best not to bring them out for a while. The past is the past and it will always be there so there's no rush. If you ever feel like things haven't been fully dealt with you can always revisit things.
    Good luck :heart:
  3. max0718

    max0718 Well-Known Member

    Hey Mary,

    I agree with Spencer. If you're not up to face your past at the moment, then you should let your psych know. He will be in the best position to advise you on the way forward. I don't think it's healthy to just leave the past forever, especially if it still bothers you, but as Spencer said, you've got time on your side.

    You can still do CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) with your psych if you don't want to deal with the past right now. It basically gives you a new mindset with which to look at things and helps you deal with the negative thoughts.

    But as I said, if whatever happened in the past still affects you, then you have to deal with it at some stage. Unfortunately I have yet to meet a person that can say "Let bygones be bygones" and have it work for them. Usually we need to deal with what happened before we can move on, and that can take some time.

    Hope that helps! Take care!

  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    thanks for responses i don't think past bothers me really ihave acknowleged that part of me is long gone. I really don't care about any of it What bothers me more is the present and how i am having to deal again with mental illness striking yet another family member. God it just seems there will be no rest no end and nothing that can be done. One gets to the point where nothing really matters. The past is over no energy should be waisted on it The present nothing can be done really she will suffer like the rest and i don't want to watch the suffering anymore i want her well but can't seem to make it so. I want her happy please that all i care about not the past not me god i need her well but then only a miracle will do that. Why does anyone want to waiste valuable energy on something that is long over and not me anymore.
  5. max0718

    max0718 Well-Known Member

    I suppose the past is the first thing a psych wants to clear up, so that you can focus on the present. If you are already there, then you should tell him. I think once he knows that you don't want to talk about your past anymore, then he will focus on the future.

    I'd just recommend to not walk away from the medication and therapy all together. Just tell the doctor what you want to talk about in therapy, rather than let him take the lead.

    With regards to medication, I know a lot of people prefer not to take them for various reasons. And in the end there is more than one way to skin a cat, so no solution is absolute in any sense.

    I hope you find the answers you're looking for and as always feel free to pm me! Take care!

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