Well, if anyone has followed my thread on the "Suicide Forum" section... This one: http://www.suicideforum.com/showthr...eded-any-support-from-you-guys-it-s-right-now ...you'll know that my emotions have gone back and forth, again and again, about this issue. And the reason I am making this thread is because I have decided to finally take the advice most people are giving me, which is to leave. It was a very hard decision to make and I tried to avoid it as best as I could, but found no other way for the past year. I have borderline personality disorder, myself...and combined with his addiction, it's just been sending me into spiraling depression over and over again. It's been a pattern that I couldn't stop. I've made multiple threads about multiple issues that we've had in the past, all involving his drug use, and I don't think anything is going to change. I think our relationship survived on desperation from both sides. Me because I don't really expect anyone to want to deal with my BPD, and him because he doesn't expect anyone to deal with his drug binges. I think a lot of things he's done have shown that he doesn't truly care for me, such as lying and not keeping simple promises. And being that I think things aren't going to change anytime soon on his side, the relationship is doomed to fail, whether or not things change on mine. So, I just wanted to let you guys know that I'm going to try to get through this...and believe it or not, it's been some people on the forum here that have guided me to make this decision, which I appreciate. Also, if anyone else is going through anything similar with a spouse, boyfriend, or family member, I encourage you to post in this thread, because I've gone through it, and it's fucking terrible. Hell, he's even dragged me down along with him and I've gotten high several times too. I'll admit to that. So, anyone at all who is suffering from the never-ending cycle of drug addiction, either with themselves, or someone else, and don't know what to do to get through it, I want you all to know that it doesn't have to be never-ending. You just need to find the strength to do so, through other people and yourself. Just a note to mods: I know this sounds a tad like an inspirational speech, but it really is mostly meant for people who are suffering just like me, so I ask that it please not be moved to the "Positive Messages" section.