Hey, not sure if you'll find this helpful or not:
I think I've met "the one,"
but I'm having trouble making her realize this.
I've been pursuing her for about five months
(during part of which time she was away at school,
but we kept in regular contact, at first through
e-mail and, later, over the phone), and I get the
sense that she's very guarded about relationships.
She's *very* goal oriented (which is one of the
many things I love about her, BTW), and therefore
very busy, and - I suspect - she's been burned in
the past, relationship wise. At any rate, on a
couple of occasions, it felt to me as if things
were moving forward, and then she backpedaled;
perhaps she "got spooked," and took a big step
back to protect herself. Most recently, we were
out for the first time since she finished school,
and - insofar as I was able to determine, I was
getting the green light all night: at a movie, I
slipped my arm around her and she leaned in,
resting her head on my shoulder; later, we were at
a club for a band, and when we were ready to
leave, she reached across the table and held my
hand for a while; on the way back to the car, it
was pretty chilly, and when she complained about
the chill, I stepped over and hugged her. She
responded by stepping into it: she pressed her
face hard into my shoulder, and stepped into full
body to body contact - hip to hip, shoulder to
shoulder and everything in between. When we got
back to her place, I moved to kiss her and she
shied away such that it would have been
*extremely* awkward for me to actually do so.
At any rate, we've gotten together since (in fact,
I offered to cook dinner for her, and she somehow
maneuvered it around such that I was *her* guest,
and she cooked for me) and we talked a while. As I
said above, I think she got a little spooked. She
specifically said that she thought the
relationship could've evolved into something
romantic, but that it hasn't, and she wasn't sure
why. At this moment, she says she doesn't believe
it will. We remain *very* close friends, but I
still believe she's the one, and I've told her
that I'm still going to pursue this, and she's
keen on still spending time together (for her, for
now, as close friends).
My question is this: do you believe your program
can aid me in turning her around on this? If so,
why?
Thanks,
B.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
OK, sit down for this.
Hold on to something tight, because I'm going
to yell at you for your own damn good...
YOU ARE TOTALLY MISSING WHAT'S GOING ON!
THIS WOMAN ACTUALLY LIKES YOU, AND YOU'RE
SCREWING IT ALL UP BY ACTING LIKE A NEEDY WUSS
BAG!
If you were closer, I'd slap you myself.
DUH!
Whew. Let me calm myself. As you know, I don't
usually get so worked up. That makes three
exclamation marks in one email, and I haven't even
started lambasting you proper yet. (What is
lambasting, anyway? And is that how you spell it?
It's such a great word. I really should look and
find out.)
OK, I'm calm.
NOW, let's have a little talk here...
The reason why this kind of situation bothers
me is at least twofold:
1) Because I've been in it myself about a
bazillion and a half times, and it sucks to be
screwing something up and not even realize that
you're doing it.
2) I can tell from your email that you actually
like this girl A LOT, and that she's probably a
fantastic woman... and I hate to see you working
so hard against yourself... and screwing this up
when it's right there in front of you for the
taking.
Before I tell you all the reasons why you most
DEFINITELY should invest in my Advanced Dating
Techniques program, let me give you a few pointers
that might help you STOP screwing this up in the
meantime.
OK, back to the basics.
Let's take this from the top...
At the very beginning of your email, you said
something that basically telegraphed EXACTLY what
was going on here...
You said "...I think I've met "the one," but
I'm having trouble making her realize this. I've
been pursuing her for about five months..."
You're having trouble making her REALIZE this?
You've been PURSUING her?
Do you assume that at some point within the
NEXT five months that she's going to wake up one
day and feel a powerful ATTRACTION for you because
you like to chase her around and tell her how you
feel about her?
Normally I'd make fun of you here, and tell you
that you don't get it... blah blah blah.
But for some reason I feel like I just have to
lay things out for you directly.
Look, man... the reason why she's telling you
that she "doesn't know why it hasn't evolved into
something romantic" is that she doesn't FEEL IT.
She doesn't FEEL IT.
Get it?
SHE DOESN'T FEEL IT!
She doesn't feel ATTRACTION for you.
And you can't CONVINCE her to feel it by
chasing her around and telling her how you "feel"
about her.
Attraction, as I always say, ISN'T A CHOICE.
You need to go and get yourself an IN-DEPTH
education on the topic of creating ATTRACTION.
Go read my new online eBook "Attraction Isn't A
Choice".
This book will take you "behind the scenes" and
show you how to communicate with women in a way
that TRIGGERS the attraction... instead of trying
to be a "nice guy" and CONVINCE her to feel it for
you.
You can download it right now, and be reading
it within a few minutes. Go download it here:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/AttractionBook/
Now, you're acting like most guys who think things
like: "If she only knew how I felt about her,
she'd feel the same way" and "If I keep pursuing
her, she'll eventually see how much I love her"
etc.
Well guess what?
AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN, HOMEY.
Right now you are playing what is referred to
as a "losing game".
Think of it this way. If you stop on the way
home from work every day and buy a lottery ticket,
you'll win once in awhile. Hell, you might even be
lucky one day and win big.
But your chances SUCK.
You're probably going to lose a LOT more than
you win over time.
Like I said, you COULD win big. There is a
chance. But you probably won't. And I mean
probably with a BIG P.
I refer to the way that you're acting as "Being
a Wussy" (that's the technical term... made it up
myself).
When you act like a Wussy, you do things like:
-Pursue
-Cling
-Share "feelings"
-Act submissive
-Seek approval
-Pine away
This is WUSSY behavior.
It's distinctly FEMININE in nature.
When guys act like this, they're getting in
touch with their inner little girl (and she needs
a spanking in the worst way).
And are you ready for the WORST, WORST part?
When you act like this around a woman (and
ESPECIALLY a "goal oriented" woman who's probably
smart and powerful like yours) they CANNOT feel
the emotion of ATTRACTION towards you.
Women aren't attracted to Wussies.
This is a UNIVERSAL truth.
And by the way that you describe your
relationship with this woman, SHE REALLY WANTS TO
BE ATTRACTED TO YOU!
She's trying, man.
And she probably KNOWS that you'd be a great
guy to be in a relationship with... but she just
doesn't FEEL IT... so she holds back. I'm sure she
WISHES that she could be attracted to you. I'll
bet you money.
Look, you need to STOP acting like a nice
friend guy Wuss IMMEDIATELY if you want this to
turn into something.
You're probably beyond help with this
particular woman, but I'm going to give you a few
ideas JUST IN CASE...
1) Stop calling her all the time (if you do),
and stop spending so much time with her.
2) Start dating other women IMMEDIATELY, and
make sure she knows about it.
3) Stop being all lovey with her, and don't
tell her how you "feel about her" anymore. Stop it.
4) Accept that you will probably be friends
with her forever, and start acting that way.
5) Don't try to kiss her or be physical with
her at ALL anymore until you understand what you're
doing.
Remember, what you're doing ISN'T WORKING.
If you do these things that I've described, you
will probably have the best chance of turning this
around.
NOW, the next thing you need to do is what you
asked me about in your email... GET MY ADVANCED
DATING TECHNIQUES PROGRAM.
You need a new perspective on this entire
situation. And you need a new perspective on
women.
You're obviously a smart guy, and once you
begin to understand how ATTRACTION works for
women, you'll change how you behave COMPLETELY.
Total transformation.
And the best part is that you won't be changing
how you act and just "faking it". You'll change
how you act because you GET IT.
It's really fantastic to HELP a woman feel that
magical ATTRACTION for you that she REALLY WANTS
TO FEEL.
And it's also amazing to know exactly how to
get physical with a woman without having to deal
with the awkward "shy away from the kiss"
situation that you described in your email.
I guarantee that when you listen to and/or
watch my "Advanced Dating Techniques" program,
it will FOREVER CHANGE how you think about and
act around women. Period, end of story.
