Tonight I got in a fight with my brother. He's mad cuz he's a loser and takes it out on me. I thought I heard him say "suicide" but I'm not 100% sure. I got really pissed off and went to my room. My dad was right there when my brother said that, yet he did nothing. I was in my room and I was so ready to die, I pressed a razor against my wrist, and I pushed down- but thats all. I didn't think I could do it, I feel so weak, even now. So in that state I destroyed my arms more then they already are. Since school is starting I've been telling myself "okay PI, school is starting soon, lay off on the cutting cuz ppl will notice." But I haven't been listening. Thats another thing, I got my list of classes for school, all the shitty teachers I had freshman year I have again. I'm not gonna finish this year of school-fact, but I still don't want to go. I was about to take a walk after I cut but it's late and I just took a shower. I can't stand being here, I have no beer or scotch left, no cigs and no where to go. The stupid "clinic" that I went to keeps calling my house, and I was told I have to go there again, for the third time. After the second time they said I wouldn't be coming there anymore, yet I am. This is wayy too much fucking pressure. I want out, Now!