I feel myself failing more and more with each passing day. My faith, my mind, my sense of self Has become a crumbling structure. My own fear brings me to my knees. If the only thing left for me is to give up or give in Then I hope I have the strength to be brave And give up the ghost. I am too young and too lucky to think these thoughts Or to take this out But we can only be what there is allowance within ourselves to be And all my bend has come and gone And I have misused the credit I was born with. The questions are always the same. The why and the how of things. Motive for crime, for murder for death, for love, for suicide For marriage, for misery, for children, for joy. Mostly I am sick and bone tired of making the same mistakes Over and over and over again. The dirt beneath my feet’s worn thin. I am tired of loving all the wrong people For all the wrong reasons In all the wrong ways. I am tired of saying goodbye Tired of learning to let go. Well the lesson is well and truly learned. But I will never be a master at the craft For each farewell and smiling send-off Steals another piece of my soul. I cannot learn to love one more person Just to watch them walk away. They may never look back But I have spent the entirety of my short life Walking backwards With my hands crammed deep in my pockets So I don’t touch things. Once upon a time I thought that knowing someone and losing them Was better than never knowing them at all But I have learned the meaning of regret And it has swallowed me whole.