Lesson Plan

Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by BelovedDreamer, Oct 23, 2006.

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  1. BelovedDreamer

    BelovedDreamer Well-Known Member

    I feel myself failing more and more with each passing day.
    My faith, my mind, my sense of self
    Has become a crumbling structure.
    My own fear brings me to my knees.
    If the only thing left for me is to give up or give in
    Then I hope I have the strength to be brave
    And give up the ghost.
    I am too young and too lucky to think these thoughts
    Or to take this out
    But we can only be what there is allowance within ourselves to be
    And all my bend has come and gone
    And I have misused the credit I was born with.
    The questions are always the same.
    The why and the how of things.
    Motive for crime, for murder for death, for love, for suicide
    For marriage, for misery, for children, for joy.
    Mostly I am sick and bone tired of making the same mistakes
    Over and over and over again.
    The dirt beneath my feet’s worn thin.
    I am tired of loving all the wrong people
    For all the wrong reasons
    In all the wrong ways.
    I am tired of saying goodbye
    Tired of learning to let go.
    Well the lesson is well and truly learned.
    But I will never be a master at the craft
    For each farewell and smiling send-off
    Steals another piece of my soul.
    I cannot learn to love one more person
    Just to watch them walk away.
    They may never look back
    But I have spent the entirety of my short life
    Walking backwards
    With my hands crammed deep in my pockets
    So I don’t touch things.
    Once upon a time I thought that knowing someone and losing them
    Was better than never knowing them at all
    But I have learned the meaning of regret
    And it has swallowed me whole.
  2. I hardly know what to say (though I'll try...) but that you've done it again - brought pain clear and clean bubbling, steaming to the surface like a geiser at Yellowstone. I could just curl up in a ball and weep for you, for me, for all who suffer. It makes me so sad and sorry for your losses and how you've been burned and let down - yet I'm in awe at how you express those things so *excruciatingly* well.

    I think you are very, very hard on yourself.

    I think for someone who expresses themselves so well, those losses cannot be your fault, but for those who took you for granted and only read of (and took of) you what they wanted. Your words evoke SOOOooooo much! They're So rich. I feel something very personal in them - you have that gift. I've had my own share (too much) of goodbyes, and looking at and questioning humanity, trying to be brave - and crumbling in each next moment. People say we're strong and expect us to hang on - but they don't know the cost, or the pain. It so comes through in your words - ALL of it. Even in your despair you are so powerful, truly you are. It's why your words move me..

    Well, I think I've babbled on enough for now...

    Beloved, you are... Dreamer, if you are, then of all things good...
    Thank you for sharing who you are, it really touches me... I love each line, inspite of the sorrow - especially the last 4...

    Last edited: Oct 23, 2006
  3. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Dearly Beloved;

    I can only repeat what FAL1 said: I think also that you are too hard on yourself. I too love your words but I also wish they didn't bubble up from your wellspring of deep sorrow.:sad: But perhaps it's our troubles that shape us the most. I find I cannot write near as well, or as deeply, when I'm happy - I have to be in a real 'blue funk' to write things that I can stand to read the next day without wanting to rip them into little pieces. You write deeply and powerfully because you FEEL deeply and powerfully. I'm not sure if we can separate the depth of feeling from the depths of despair - at least, I can't. Besides, small comfort that it may be, you're in such good company.:smile: So many writers, artists, poets, and the like were in bad shape emotionally. Maybe that's where their creativity came from also - from that pit.

    Sorry for rambling. Just wanted to tell you that I love you and consider you a treasured friend.:smile: :smile: I hope you can find some measure of peace in your life, within yourself.:smile:


  4. Ditto what Least wrote...

  5. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    Amazing poem hun!!!!!! :clap: :yes:

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