Let´s get know each other a little bit more

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by jane doe, Jan 23, 2007.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. jane doe

    jane doe Well-Known Member

    I think to post this thread to know each other a little bit more. you can or not answer some questions but the idea is to know about feelings and the situation of all of us. well i hope this works....

    what do you hate from SI?
    what do you like about it?
    when do you started?
    why do you started ?
    Does anybody knows about it?
    What do you feel before hurting yourself?
    what do you feel while you do it?
    what do you feel after you do it?
    what triggers you?
    Would you like to stop? Why?

    My anwsers
    _i hate about it that i am judged everytime i do it
    _ i like it because it makes me feel quiet and free
    _ i started about 4 years ago
    _i started because i had an argument with my mother and i was playing with a nail
    _My boyfriend knows
    _ before i feel like a dug addict, my hands start shaking sometimes
    _i feel empty when i do it
    _ afteri feel happy and relaxed
    _ i think that i trigger myself, i think aboutit all the time
    - i don´t want to, but i´m trying to stop because my boyfriend feels sadwhen i do it

    __________________________
    well i hope to get a lot of replyes so we can start knoing each other___-take care;)
     
  2. Chase

    Chase Member

    I hate it because it makes others fear me for difference.
    I like it because it makes me feel good when I do it. I Don't know why.
    I started quite a while ago, maybe 1 and a half years ago.
    I started because I was desperately trying to find a way to feel better.
    Most people in my school know, my family doesn't.
    I feel almost addicted, I feel like I need to do it and the urge just completely takes me over.
    Afterwards I feel guilty, but then I start feeling good as I fell in control and happier.
    It gets triggered by me seeing the ones I love get hurt.
    I see no reason for me to, but I will to appease others.
     
  3. Ruby

    Ruby Well-Known Member

    I hate the fact that it upsets people around me.
    I like the fact that it helps relieve my feelings of depression.
    I started just over three years ago.
    I felt really bad and didn't know what else to do.
    Certain family members.
    I feel agitated and frustrated.
    I feel nervous.
    I feel calm.
    Unwanted memories and thoughts trigger it.
    I'm not sure..
     
  4. poeticxxxtragedy

    poeticxxxtragedy Active Member

    I hate the scars and hiding everything and lying.
    I like the blood and pain. It just makes me feel better.
    I started in 6th grade when I was 11. (I`m not almost 15)
    I started because I was really upset and I`ll be honest, I saw it on a TV show and it made her feel better so I thought I`d try it. Biggest mistake.
    2 of my close friends who HATE me for it. litteraly.
    Before I hurt myself I`m ussaly freaking out. I get in a weird trance. Everything gets blurry and starts spinning. It`s really weird. I feel like I dont exsist and I`m really numb.
    While I`m doing it I feel relived and I get like a weird high off of it? If that makes any sense.
    After I do it I feel relieved and then a few minutes later I feel like an idoit.
    A lot of things trigger me. Acctualy I dont know if I get triggerd. If I feel like I`m being ignored or just stupid fights or even a song or something. I`m really weird when it comes to cutting.
    I would like to stop, and then again I wouldnt. It`s weird. I havent done it in a few weeks now. Maybe almost a month. I hate having to hide every inch of myself but I love the way it makes me feel. It`s odd. I wish I had a better way of coping with things but I dont know. It`s like I get comfort knowing that the razors always there. Eh I`m weird and my answers are too long =/
     
  5. Smashed-Up-Sanity

    Smashed-Up-Sanity Well-Known Member

    what do you hate from SI? i hate the scars and hiding it
    what do you like about it? the pain
    when do you started? 6 months ago
    why do you started ? because people were closing in on me... invading my space.
    Does anybody knows about it? yes... counsellors, parents... friends and who ever else my parents told
    What do you feel before hurting yourself? lots of diffrent stuff
    what do you feel while you do it? less emotional pain
    what do you feel after you do it? better
    what triggers you? lots of diffrent things... sometimes nothing
    Would you like to stop? Why? no i dont want to... because its my only escape.
     
  6. eih

    eih Well-Known Member

    I hate The scars and constant fear of being discovered and constant shame.

    I like Being able to feel anything except numbness... getting out stress

    I started about a year and a half ago I guess
    I started b/c I was frustrated

    yes, almost everyone I know does know about it

    I feel alot of emotional pain before doin it..frustration

    what do you feel while you do it? Guilty pleasure, pain, relief
    what do you feel after you do it? fear of being discoverd.. sum what reliefved
    what triggers you?people pissing me off.. looking at my life
    Would you like to stop? Why? I did stop... *cough*
     
  7. DepressionII

    DepressionII Well-Known Member

    I hate the negative reactions from others.

    I like the endorphins, and the scars.

    2003, but it was about 1 year before my next.

    It was something that happened with my girlfriend at the time. She told me something. I didn't take it very well.

    My mum finds out, because shes a stupid whore. She once even thought I had been cutting after I turned my ankle and fell into a rosebush whilst wearing a singlet. I tell my girlfriend because I just cant keep anything from her.

    Straight up despondency and misanthropy, burning right through me. Hatred for mankind, and for myself.

    Ouch - ah well, at least I don't feel sad or angry anymore.

    Ouch - these cuts sting. I hope mum doesn't find out.

    Often something my girlfriend does or says - even if it's something completely harmless. I know how fucking disgusting that sounds? But, it's also the truth, and there's no point lying about it. Just as often though, its when life gets me down and I've just had enough. I'm fed up and want to damage something, but I get in trouble if I damage property or other persons - so I damage myself.

    I'd like to stop, because that would mean I'd be happy again. Every time I get happy, not something happens that tries to bring me down, but a series of events successfully brings me back down. So for now, I dream of bleeding.
     
  8. My answers

    i hate about it that i am jugded everytime i do it
    i like it because it makes me feel free and it gets rid of the internal pain
    i started about 2 years ago
    i started because i had enough of bullies and i felt this was the way to handle it
    my boyfriend, my best friend, and my mum knows
    before i feel like a drug addict, my hands start shaking sometimes
    i feel happy when i do it
    after i feel happy and relaxed. yet i wonder why i did i
    i think that i trigger myself, i think about it all the time
    i don´t want to, but i´m trying to stop because my boyfriend feels sad when i do it and im scared i may lose him
     
  9. PressedIn

    PressedIn Well-Known Member

    what do you hate from SI? -Scars, shame
    what do you like about it? -relief
    when do you started? - almost 1 year ago
    why do you started ? - needed to replace emotional pain with physical
    Does anybody knows about it? - unfortunately...yes
    What do you feel before hurting yourself? - "nothing" as most people describe it
    what do you feel while you do it? - same as above
    what do you feel after you do it? - hydrogen peroxide burning my skin
    what triggers you? - easier to say "what doesn't"
    Would you like to stop? Why? - yes, so I can wear t-shirts and shorts
     
  10. Rukia

    Rukia Well-Known Member

    What do you hate from SI? It's hurting my brain
    What do you like about it? It makes me take back some control when the voices are to loud. And it feels so good
    When do you started? 5-6 years ago
    Why do you started? Don't really remember. It started when I got suicidal.
    Does anybody knows about it? My x-bf did.
    What do you feel before hurting yourself? Scared
    What do you feel while you do it? Nothing
    What do you feel after you do it? Calm
    What triggers you? It depends. Everything and nothing.
    Would you like to stop? Why? Yes, I would like to stop. Because I know it's not the way to fight the voices, and it can give damage to my brain.

    I'm not a cutter, am scared of pain. I strangle myself instead.
     
  11. therandommike

    therandommike Member

    idk what's wrong with me.


    i usually only tear my flesh open when nothing is going wrong.


    when my life gets really fucked up, i laugh.



    :/
     
  12. jane doe

    jane doe Well-Known Member

    don´t worry i do the same , you are not alone, i do it with no an aparently reason, and i sleep thinking why? and i can´t find the answer. Don´t worry about it, just try to feel better about yourself. Do you know what is triggering you? may be that´s the reason.. if you want you can pm me at any time;)
     
  13. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    what do you hate from SI?
    I hate it because I am ashamed. I hate having to worry about keeping scars hidden. I hate that there is so much stigma and so little understanding attached to it.

    what do you like about it?
    I like that it works. It is my ultimate coping mechanism. It makes me feel better (if only temporarily) and it keeps me "coping". I'm able to put on a front a lot of the time as long as I can SI. It's also saved me from suicide.

    when do you started?
    I started cutting and severely abusing alcohol last August, and burning in October. But since I was very young I have punched walls and radiators and things (to the point of breaking my fingers). Sometimes I scratched myself until I bled, and I always said it was due to my eczema but it wasn't. I remember pouring hot candle wax over myself too. So I guess in a broader sense I've been self-harming for years.

    why do you started ?
    In August I wasn't able to push things to the back of my mind anymore. I told my boyfriend about what happened to me (up until then I had told no-one, I hadn't even written it in my journal) and it made it all so much more real. I got PTSD and couldn't cope with the flashbacks and thoughts.

    Does anybody knows about it?
    My boyfriend knows, because it would be impossible to physically keep it hidden from him. He reacted badly at first, but I gave him some stuff to read and now he's really understanding.
    My mum knows, and she decided to tell her fiance and her friend at work :mad:. She reacted very badly. She said a load of really nasty stuff. She tried to scare me and blackmail me into stopping. She gave me ultimatums. Now we just never talk about it.
    As of yesterday, my social workers/therapist person knows. She was very understanding, thank God.
    Most people don't have a clue. I keep it very hidden and I am ashamed so I don't really talk about it.

    What do you feel before hurting yourself?
    Helpless, frightened, out of control, totally overwhelmed. Angry (with other people, with myself), disgusted, like I want to kill myself. Or sometimes I'm completely dissociated and I don't even remember doing it when I realise later that I have new cuts or burns.

    what do you feel while you do it?
    Numb. I rarely feel any pain at the time. And then a kind of satisfaction kicks in.

    what do you feel after you do it?
    Calm. At peace. Then later I feel overwhelmingly ashamed if Ive cut or burnt.

    what triggers you?
    Flashbacks, nightmares, memories. Therapy sessions. Anything that makes me think about bad things that have happened to me is a trigger. My mum triggers me. Sometimes my boyfriend does. I guess everything has the potential to.

    Would you like to stop? Why?
    Yes, but there's no way I'm ready to yet. I'd like to think that one day I won't need to SI in order to cope. But I guess that will actually never happen.
     
  14. FoReVeR LoSt

    FoReVeR LoSt Well-Known Member

    what do you hate from SI? i've lost many friends and i've distanced myself from family
    what do you like about it? it gives me a release, lets me know that i at least have that one thing that will keep me alive
    when do you started? 6 years ago, 7 in march
    why do you started ? my parents were fighting, divorcing, losing our home
    Does anybody knows about it? yes, and i regret telling them
    What do you feel before hurting yourself? i feel worthless, lonely, sad, hated by everyone
    what do you feel while you do it? sad, but i also feel happy that i have something that will help me cope
    what do you feel after you do it? i feel like shit, cause i know i'll have to hide it from people that don't know
    what triggers you? everything, from movies to the razor blades we sell @ work, i can't go anywhere without getting triggered
    Would you like to stop? Why? Yes, because i want to have a child and a relationship one day and i don't want other mom's judging me and i don't want my kids to ask me what happened, i don't want them to start
     
  15. jane doe

    jane doe Well-Known Member

    i think this was a way to know each otter a little better don´t you think?
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.