Let down and alone

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Jay19, Sep 1, 2014.

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  1. Jay19

    Jay19 Well-Known Member

    I'm having the most strongest urge to end my life that I have had before. I've always found myself trying to look for any sign of hope but lately I can't see any hope for my future. Part of the problem is I seem to never to be able to make a connection with people. I am always the aquaintance or that guy people know but dont really care about.
    For example if its my birthday I wont get a card off my so called 'friends', get asked out when they have a evening out. I dont know if its something I am doing that basically makes people not form any close bond with me or care about me.
    Romantic relationships have never even come close, mainly due to my part as I am have been too scared to approach women. Whereas with friends I have made the effort, asked them out and arranged to meet up, send them birthday gifts etc yet nothing in return. This has happened with numerous people over the years. People seem to just forget about me as if i'm not important enough for them.
    Why live a life when you are alone and you try with people only to be let down and not get anything back?
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Jay there is hope ok your friends are not really great friends if they forget your birthday after you are so thoughtful to remember theirs. Perhaps just before it is your birthday mention it to them and you make arrangements with them to go out somewhere and just say seeing no one remembered my bday last year i don't want you guys to forget this year. Maybe it will smarten them up some hugs
  3. Nemo

    Nemo Well-Known Member

    Hi Jay, I'm sorry you're feeling this way! I can completely understand that you feel like you want to end your life, but people will come. It can be difficult forming emotional ties with people if you have your own guards up. People tend to connect with others who show their vulnerability somewhat but also have confidence. When you're not that 'typical' kind of person, it can be hard to find friends, I know. But they will come, and there are plenty of others out there in your situation (including some on here). I do hope you keep yourself safe, and manage to find people who you can connect with soon.
    It is a tough journey, but it's worth it, I promise you x
  4. Jay19

    Jay19 Well-Known Member

    Thanks for both replying so fast, been feeling really down tonight.

    Maybe i'm being stubborn but to me if i have to somewhat force them to remember such things or ask for help when they should offer it as they know i'm struggling then the help they give is not really real if that makes sense. They are only doing it because I made them.

    I do agree with you and have tried to open up more. I admit that part of me has pushed away people but with those that I got close to and opened up they did let me down. Maybe I am just unlucky and the people I got to know were just not the right people?
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I understand what you are saying i do but perhaps they get so busy with their own lives they just forget not being mean just forgetful hugs to you
  6. Jay19

    Jay19 Well-Known Member

    I see what you mean but the things I mentioned earlier hardly take alot of time out of their lives e.g sending a txt to wish someone a happy birthday.
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