I'm having the most strongest urge to end my life that I have had before. I've always found myself trying to look for any sign of hope but lately I can't see any hope for my future. Part of the problem is I seem to never to be able to make a connection with people. I am always the aquaintance or that guy people know but dont really care about. For example if its my birthday I wont get a card off my so called 'friends', get asked out when they have a evening out. I dont know if its something I am doing that basically makes people not form any close bond with me or care about me. Romantic relationships have never even come close, mainly due to my part as I am have been too scared to approach women. Whereas with friends I have made the effort, asked them out and arranged to meet up, send them birthday gifts etc yet nothing in return. This has happened with numerous people over the years. People seem to just forget about me as if i'm not important enough for them. Why live a life when you are alone and you try with people only to be let down and not get anything back?