Let me go

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by MoAnamCara, Feb 13, 2013.

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  1. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Let me go, world. From this existence. Into the deep blue to surrender. Give me the strength to just go.
     
  2. Theodora

    Theodora Well-Known Member

    I'd rather give you the strength to live and be happy.
     
  3. frantic

    frantic Well-Known Member

    Me too
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hugs to you both Hope you both reach out ok hang on until the pain decreases to a more bare able level hugs
     
  5. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Mo and Frantic, please find a way to keep holding on. Keep trying. I know the pain is huge. :hug:
     
  6. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Srrie. Nt importantce.
     
  7. Mustang

    Mustang Well-Known Member

    I almost died last night! But alas I'm still here!! Damn it! Maybe tonight's try would be a lot better!!!!
     
  8. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Mustang, I am glad you are still here. Please try to hang on. Please do not try tonight. Keep posting please. Let people here know how you are feeling. And irl if possible.
     
  9. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Today I hid. I sat alone and cried. And when I thought I was done, another wave came over me. Is it the day/date or upcoming date..? I have no clue. But my concentration was on those four main people in my life that are no longer here. I wonder what's the point in trying to be human and polite etc., when those of importance to me die. Is it worth it to try to fill the voids those people left? And who is next to go? It's too much to think about in one way. Things will never be the same, each loss is separate yet they combine into something I cannot fathom. It's too large. I'm rambling and I'm sorry. I just lose a little more hope each day. Yes, it's up to me to make A new life. New people etc. but prt of my spirit and soul has gone with each of these people. There is no one that I have history with... Memories are only mine alone, they can't be shared with those involved any longer. It's like part of ones identity is taken away. And now...?
     
  10. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    So much loss, Mo. I can only imagine what a challenge that is. I hope there will be someone who can be of comfort to you irl. I really do.
     
  11. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I agree with what Flowers said...this is a difficult day and one when I usually remember the loved ones lost...but you have us to count on and to care for you...wishing you some rest and respite from those thoughts
     
  12. Mustang

    Mustang Well-Known Member

    Flowers I am still here.I am hanging on by a thread! Each day I wake up, is not a good day! I will be happiest the day I don't wake up! I am so tired of life. I really don't know how anybody really enjoys life. <Mod Edit, WildCherry>, there is absolutely no point to life. None whatsoever! With any luck I won't wake up in the morning. I would give all that I own not to wake up tomorrow morning!
     
  13. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    I wish that there was a way to get relief from, and resolve of the suffering while still being alive. I will wish this for you, Mo, as well as for others. I will hold that wish in my thoughts and heart.
     
  14. Mustang

    Mustang Well-Known Member

    Hello everyone! Here I am one more day on his cursed Earth! With any luck I won't wake up in the morning I can only hope! Everyday is more torturous than the next! I have always been suicidal, but what pushes me over the edge this time?! I have a 3 year old daughter and she gets worse everyday! She pushes my buttons very fucking second of every fucking day!! I have never hated someone as much as I hate this kid!!! From fucking day one she has pushed my buttons from damn day one!!!! She pushes me right over the fucking edge!!!!!! I can't wait to leave this life! I always wanted to leave, so I guess whoever put this kid in my path to hasten my leave!! Thank you whoever you are!! I think tonight's the night! My only revenge on my daughter would be that she would have a totally messed up, totally fucked up life like I had and let her be in the same mess I have been in!!!! That would wake her up!!!!! I have a note prepared for daughter that tells her all my feelings towards her and tells her in detail on how she has given me the final push over the edge and I hope she thinks on that her whole life. That she was so terrible towards me that I had to leave her! I hope my words mark her for the rest of her life!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Man I hate this kid so much, that I don't have the words to express anything!!!!!!!
     
  15. Mustang

    Mustang Well-Known Member

    Yes, I'm still here. I failed to mention that my daughter is so mean towards me that even my wife said that she feels sorry for me, because she sees how bad this kid is towards me! I have never in my life seen a 3 year old act as mean as she does!!! Well, another day on planet earth! When will it just fucking end already!??!?!??!??!?!??!????
     
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