Let Yourself Have Bad Days

Discussion in 'Strategies for Success' started by just_me_again, Jan 21, 2016.

  1. just_me_again

    just_me_again Active Member

    All last semester, I had it stuck in my mind that I had to be happy and cheerful all the time, even if my inner thoughts were quite the opposite. I thought, "You have a fresh start, don't screw it up" over and over again until it was sort of a mantra. My entire life became SERVICE WITH A SMILE...even though I wasn't being paid (some of the time. I have a job). I thought that I would lose all the new friends I made and all the progress I had would be undone if I let people know I was having a bad day.

    Then, it happened. It hit me that I could have a bad day without flying off the handle, especially now that I'm medicated. I could have an honest to God NORMAL bad day and most people wouldn't think too much of it. A few people were jarred, but most wanted to help. That rude woman at work? God, she was rude. Having to deal with abusive mother because she screwed up your health insurance? Roommate being difficult? Talk about it.

    It's good to have bad days because it's a part of being human. It's not stuffing yourself into a smiling shell until you completely explode and it's not hanging out in a constant cloud of gloom. It's just a bad day and it will pass. Don't feel ashamed for what you feel, but don't let it swallow you whole either.
     
  2. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    More insightful than many will realize and 100% true I wish I could add something besides thank you for sharing this .... but Thank you for sharing this.
     
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  3. Cicada 3301

    Cicada 3301 Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I went through the same thoughts as you for a time. I finally have come to just take this as part of life. It has reduced my mood swings considerably and now I know a bad day is no longer the end of the world. Good days come more often too. I no longer have to put on a face 365 days a year like I was doing before. Wish I had learnt it sooner though, that there will always be bad days/moments among the good. You can't have your cake and eat it too.
     
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I have good days and bad days but mostly good days thank goodness. It never occurred to me that having a bad day was ''okay'', until you just pointed it out. You're right, after all, we are only human, i'm glad this works for you and the next time I have a bad day I will think of this post. Thank you (hugs).
     
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  5. Freya

    Freya Loves SF Staff Member ADMIN

    I think it is a skill and one that a lot of people (including me) struggle to learn - that bad days are okay and they don't have to be the start of a horrifying spiral if you acknowledge them. I think the difficulty is often that we have a bad day and decide that "things will always be this bad" - which makes one bad day spill right into the next day, a day that hasn't had chance to become bad yet apart from carrying the taint of yesterday. You are quite right - bad days are okay, they are normal, and we are strong enough to deal with them as and when they come.
     
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  6. just_me_again

    just_me_again Active Member

    Wow. This got a bigger response than I expected. Thank you all for that! One of my friends (a fellow writer) uses the term "start of darkness" to describe that moment a character starts slipping into the role of a villain. I think it can be applied to depression. Don't think of a bad day as your start of darkness. It's not the world working against you. It's just a bad day.
     
  7. Purple_Thorn

    Purple_Thorn Well-Known Member

    I like that you've said this. It's something that I really need to remember, it's okay to have bad days. It's kind of hard to believe sometimes, but you're right. So thank you so much!
     
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