So, deep in debt to the kind of people who dont accept normal answers. 5am, write notes, take xxxxxxxxxxx. Back to bed, curl up with my wife who i love so very much, incredibly selfish but wanted to sleep for ever with her seeing as thats the only safe place. Peace at last, what a wonderful feeling, goodnight and goodbye world. Wake up three days later, all a blur, need a smoke! Cant believe she saved me, only just apparently, cant help feeling angry. Now have to face what I wanted myself and my family to escape, except its worse than ever now. Day in psych ward, decide I'm not nuts but made a rational decision, all be it not the accepted one - nobody has a better solution! Even bed has become a bad place, cant get to sleep and when I do its just bad dreams and waking every hour. No escape 24 hours a day now, have become the living dead. Sorry no moral to this story, other than had I done it half hour earlier and I'd be gone now. Does everyone feel this way?