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Let's get a few things set straight...

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Why Am I Here

Well-Known Member
#1
This world is a lie. Either you're all figments of my imagination or I'm a figment of someone else s imagination. That's either life or we all exist but have no meaning no initial goal or are entirely meaningless thus Suicide being rational for someone whom does not care to live it (me).

If we all do exist then I would like to say that you're all fake. No one is original because original never existed since we live in a finite Universe where the only thing that is infinite is Time and that's the only thing that is original and everything that can be played out will be played out for eternity. Still following me? Probably not. My mind is scattered now a days with ideas that no one seems to agree with. Or at least that's what I think they will say.


Putting all of that aside I would like to state that either by the end of this Summer when School starts or when I Graduate in 2 years, I will be committing Suicide. It will be a rational and planned out suicide that is inevitable. My Suicide note should be somewhat similar to this but a tad more edited as this all came out of my head and typed through the keyboard in about 3 minutes.

As I stated earlier, this is inevitable and I was just making it clear.


You wanted me to type out my feelings so I wouldn't attempt suicide which I did, Chelsie? Here it is.
 

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
#2
Hi Chelsie welcome to SF hun There is nothing rational hun about suicide it is all depression which makes us see things differently I do hope you reach out to your family to doctors and get some help so you can heal okay so you can start to feel better Keep posting okay venting whatever it takes to get those distorted thoughts out of your head hugs to you
 

Xistence

Well-Known Member
#3
Why do you want to kill yourself, though? I don't think we really need a purpose to stay alive, just things to occupy our time and make life suck a bit less. Yeah, life is completely meaningless, but what is the point in dying?
 

Pickett

Well-Known Member
#4
This world is a lie. Either you're all figments of my imagination or I'm a figment of someone else s imagination. That's either life or we all exist but have no meaning no initial goal or are entirely meaningless thus Suicide being rational for someone whom does not care to live it (me).
I want to live but cannot live a normal life by any measure. I am shackled to burden and misery and the only one who can cure me is a tiny god in a white coat who denies me my freedom.

If we all do exist then I would like to say that you're all fake. No one is original because original never existed since we live in a finite Universe where the only thing that is infinite is Time and that's the only thing that is original and everything that can be played out will be played out for eternity. Still following me? Probably not. My mind is scattered now a days with ideas that no one seems to agree with. Or at least that's what I think they will say.
You are intelligent and analytical. Nothing to be ashamed about. People probably crapped all over you and you had to resort to seeing things in a logical or rigid way. It hasn't made you happy, I know that, and I can relate with this on a few levels.

Putting all of that aside I would like to state that either by the end of this Summer when School starts or when I Graduate in 2 years, I will be committing Suicide. It will be a rational and planned out suicide that is inevitable. My Suicide note should be somewhat similar to this but a tad more edited as this all came out of my head and typed through the keyboard in about 3 minutes.
A mind is a terrible thing to lose. I can tell you hold a high opinion of yourself so I cannot understand why you want to die. As long as you don't feel like you've been kicked in the nuts everyday then you should be fine. I hope you can let others in and enjoy life. Don't wait until it is too late.
 

Ants

Well-Known Member
#5
1976 I've been where you are my friend. I have only one piece of advice for you.... RUN! Run like hell. Get out of where you are! I went to California to see the sunset before I did the deed. Saw the sunset and decided I might want to get laid at least one more time... then I decided to take Carribean cruise or three... I am telling you!!!!!

Time

Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
You fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way.
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way.

Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain.
You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today.
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you.
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun.

So you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking
Racing around to come up behind you again.
The sun is the same in a relative way but you're older,
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death.

Every year is getting shorter never seem to find the time.
Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines
Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way
The time is gone, the song is over,
Thought I'd something more to say.​


This song saved my life. Since then I have lived life as it should be. Suicide has always been a viable option... still is... but I keep on runnin'... I Keep on Keepin' on.

Words and music by Brian May

I was told a million times
Of all the troubles in my way
Tried to grow a little wiser
Little better ev'ry day
But if I crossed a million rivers
And I rode a million miles
Then I'd still be where I started
Bread and butter for a smile
Well I sold a million mirrors
In a shop in Alley Way
But I never saw my face
In any window any day
Well they say your folks are telling you
To be a superstar
But I tell you just be satisfied
To stay right where you are

Keep yourself alive keep yourself alive
It'll take you all your time and a money
Honey you'll survive

Well I've loved a million women
In a belladonic haze
And I ate a million dinners
Brought to me on silver trays
Give me ev'rything I need
To feed my body and my soul
And I'll grow a little bigger
Maybe that can be my goal
I was told a million times
Of all the people in my way
How I had to keep on trying
And get better ev'ry day
But if I crossed a million rivers
And I rode a million miles
Then I'd still be where I started
Same as when I started

Keep yourself alive keep yourself alive
It'll take you all your time and a money
Honey you'll survive

Keep yourself alive
Keep yourself alive
It'll take you all your time and a money
To keep me satisfied
Do you think you're better ev'ry day?
No I just think I'm two steps nearer to my grave
Keep yourself alive come on
Keep yourself alive mmm
You take your time and take more money
Keep yourself alive
Keep yourself alive come on
Keep yourself alive
All you people keep yourself alive
Keep yourself alive come on, come on
Keep yourself alive
It'll take you all your time and money
To keep me satisfied
Keep yourself alive
Keep yourself alive
All you people keep yourself alive
Take you all your time and money
Honey you'll survive

Keep you satisfied
Keep you satisfied​
 

Why Am I Here

Well-Known Member
#6
Thanks for the replies guys... Pickett, you're the one that got what I was talking about. I'm still trying to figure everything out, but haven't changed my mind on my Suicide.
 

Pickett

Well-Known Member
#7
Thanks for the replies guys... Pickett, you're the one that got what I was talking about. I'm still trying to figure everything out, but haven't changed my mind on my Suicide.
Thank you. After reading my comments a second time I questioned whether or not I came off judgmental, but after reading this I see no offense was taken. I sometimes wonder how I'll be taken because I can come off a little bit pessimistic, bitter, etc. Everyone is who they are for a reason and it's tough.

I guess I saw something in your dialogue that I related too, and I'm glad no harm came of it. I wasn't sure what the reaction would be. You never know with the Internet. Don't mean to ramble on.

I'm glad you're still a live. I've always been told that the world is not my friend, and I know this fact well, but I want to know what I can do about it. I wish you the best of luck in finding out why you are here, and putting your knowledge to task to defeat evil.
 
#8
You just have to go out and find reasons for living. Soon, you'll find yourself having a good time, whether you think I'm fake, or you're fake, or this whole darn planet is fake. Go bowling, get a vehicle and run the streets, playing music extra loud. Hit the buffets. Heck, paper moon? Hooters? You got to like atleast something in this life. Just admit it, you dooo.
 

Silent1

Well-Known Member
#9
Dude i think of all that crazy stuff too, my mind is always in the sky about god and how this all started or if there is even a god. is the human race brain washed to belive we have a future after death or is this just a illusion of a master plan. my mind goes so far sometimes i feel like im some kinda genius thinkin up all these theroy's, its crazy.
 

Why Am I Here

Well-Known Member
#10
Thank you. After reading my comments a second time I questioned whether or not I came off judgmental, but after reading this I see no offense was taken. I sometimes wonder how I'll be taken because I can come off a little bit pessimistic, bitter, etc. Everyone is who they are for a reason and it's tough.

I guess I saw something in your dialogue that I related too, and I'm glad no harm came of it. I wasn't sure what the reaction would be. You never know with the Internet. Don't mean to ramble on.

I'm glad you're still a live. I've always been told that the world is not my friend, and I know this fact well, but I want to know what I can do about it. I wish you the best of luck in finding out why you are here, and putting your knowledge to task to defeat evil.
I took no offense to your words of advice, although I really do want to figure out my place in the world as you said I should. The further I try and figure myself out, the more depressed I get. It's a flaw of mine and I'm trying to work on it.

You just have to go out and find reasons for living. Soon, you'll find yourself having a good time, whether you think I'm fake, or you're fake, or this whole darn planet is fake. Go bowling, get a vehicle and run the streets, playing music extra loud. Hit the buffets. Heck, paper moon? Hooters? You got to like atleast something in this life. Just admit it, you dooo.
Thank you for your reply. I try and get out, I really do. I find myself in the house more often though as the world gets me down. But I'm trying, that's the point, right? Thanks for the ideas! :P

Dude i think of all that crazy stuff too, my mind is always in the sky about god and how this all started or if there is even a god. is the human race brain washed to belive we have a future after death or is this just a illusion of a master plan. my mind goes so far sometimes i feel like im some kinda genius thinkin up all these theroy's, its crazy.
I can't get my mind outta the damn sky! You should hit me up sometime with a PM, maybe bounce ideas back and forth. :)
 

gredow

Banned Member
#11
I am wondering how old you are? I am 32 and I have some of the same thoughts as you regarding time. It is true that in 1,000 years none of us now alive will be around. We will either be in something else or gone never to return. These are bad thoughts to have. Why? Because they take away from the time we have with people that love us, who we love back. That is all we can really do as humans. I struggle with doing this myself. I am currently suicidal and have been for 6 months. No one has all the answers, but it is said that shared joy is double joy, but shared sorrow is half sorrow. So maybe we just exist to halve the sorrow of each other? If you take away someone's sorrow by your words on here, then that is reason enough to keep going. Some of my words are hopeful, yet I am hopeless and in despair. The specific reasons don't matter. We all came to this part of life's path by a different trail, but here we are. I do not know if I will be around much longer. The urge to end my life grows with each passing day, although my parents and the doctors try to help. I remember the words of a famous Korean person who recently ended their life. He wrote "This life is so hard." That is not true for just Koreans, but all people. We are all in a struggle for survival. We are all trying to live another day. It is okay and I would say even healthy to be angry at the world. The world has many problems. People give a lot of lip service to wanting to solve problems. But people also have to look out for themselves. I think everyone is selfish, and I do not think that is a bad thing. Everyone is trying to survive. This is understandable. What else can we do? If you cannot survive, if you cannot live, then you must die. Sorry for the verbose post. I have too much free time these days, and I am in the grips of a severe depression.
 

Why Am I Here

Well-Known Member
#12
I am wondering how old you are? I am 32 and I have some of the same thoughts as you regarding time. It is true that in 1,000 years none of us now alive will be around. We will either be in something else or gone never to return. These are bad thoughts to have. Why? Because they take away from the time we have with people that love us, who we love back. That is all we can really do as humans. I struggle with doing this myself. I am currently suicidal and have been for 6 months. No one has all the answers, but it is said that shared joy is double joy, but shared sorrow is half sorrow. So maybe we just exist to halve the sorrow of each other? If you take away someone's sorrow by your words on here, then that is reason enough to keep going. Some of my words are hopeful, yet I am hopeless and in despair. The specific reasons don't matter. We all came to this part of life's path by a different trail, but here we are. I do not know if I will be around much longer. The urge to end my life grows with each passing day, although my parents and the doctors try to help. I remember the words of a famous Korean person who recently ended their life. He wrote "This life is so hard." That is not true for just Koreans, but all people. We are all in a struggle for survival. We are all trying to live another day. It is okay and I would say even healthy to be angry at the world. The world has many problems. People give a lot of lip service to wanting to solve problems. But people also have to look out for themselves. I think everyone is selfish, and I do not think that is a bad thing. Everyone is trying to survive. This is understandable. What else can we do? If you cannot survive, if you cannot live, then you must die. Sorry for the verbose post. I have too much free time these days, and I am in the grips of a severe depression.

I'm 16 and I do get where you're coming from. And as I stated earlier, I am trying to better myself. I need to find myself first though. I'm lost.
 
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