I think i could be a actor.. I'm so good at this. Always smiling plenty of jokes to make people laugh.. Look at me.. Don't I look so happy.. So confident even a bit arrogant at times. God why does it hurt so much.. This weight in my chest. How much longer do I have to pretend.. Like every things just so fine and lovely.. Is it really that wrong what I'm thinking.. If my folks knew how I would be feeling.. This whole life of mine.. Would they still have chosen to have me.. Would they be so selfish..