Let's try this once more.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by TheContempt, Jun 10, 2007.

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  1. TheContempt

    TheContempt New Member

    10 months ago I met my girlfriend and we've had an amazing relationship for the most part. The only major problem that exists between us is that she has emotional problems that don't often surface, but when they do they bring with them lots of pain. I try to help her, but she won't let me get close enough to help and when I do she tells me that she's a one woman army and won't let me help even when I try to explain to her that we all need a little help sometimes no matter how strong we may be. My trying to help her has broken us up twice before and I fear that if I can't find a way to handle this and not pressure her it will end in our ultimate seperation. If that happened I'd kill myself because she's my singular reason for living and I couldn't make it a day without her. She's my everything and she knows I'd die for her without a second thought. I fear it will come to that if I don't talk to someone about this. Thank you for you time, patience and help.

    +Josh
     
  2. Hey Josh, welcome to SF.

    Well, it seems like your girlfriend is a bit like me in relationships, she puts up a wall and doesn't break it down, not even a bit. I'd just let her know if she ever needs help, ever needs anyone to talk to, then you're there. I think you need to take a long hard think about the relationship though, don't make any sudden decisions based on how she is, if she has emotional problems, it's not her fault, bare that in mind, also bare in mind she could be very fragile and if you do put an end to the relationship, it could break her aswell as you...

    :hug: take care.
     
  3. TheContempt

    TheContempt New Member

    Thanks for the reply. It won't be me putting an end to our relationship. Is there any way that I can help her without letting her know that I'm here for her. I ask because doing only that makes me feel under utilized and I feel as though I'm relegated to the position of spectator in our relationship. Thanks for the help.

    +Josh
     
  4. I'm not quite sure, you could ask her to open up to you, ask her what's wrong, I'm not sure. Although, you could tell her how you feel about this, tell her you just want to be there for her and stuff?... I'm not sure hun. :hug:
     
  5. TheContempt

    TheContempt New Member

    I know it must be difficult attempting to help me when you don't know my situation. Please know that I sincerely appreciate the attempt. I've tried what you've suggested on multiple occasions to no avail. She consistently shuts me out. I want to help her, but I also want to let that happen in her own time. With each passing day things seem to get worse between us and the fear that she'll decide she no longer needs me seems to swell inside me. If she does decide this then I won't be able to live any longer. She's the reason I live. I was born with Spastic Cerebral Palsy that effects the way I walk. that single fact has caused me so much grief that it's unimaginable. I've also had very bad problems with my mother over the past couple of years. With her multiple husbands and all. The time when I met Katie was a particularly dark one in my life and with her help and love I was able to avoid ending my life at that time. If I loose her.....If I loose my safety net that is her then I don't know what I'll do....She's my everything and without her there would be no more need for me to live. I've become nothing more than a burden on the two people who care for me other than her anyway. Once again, thanks so much for the help.
     
  6. :( I'm so sorry Josh, for what you've gone through. Maybe you should tell her you two need to open up more, that you WANT and NEED to help, that you want this relationship to work and that you need her, and that you want to help her, so ask her again. If she refuses still, then just be there for her, it's all you really can do... maybe in time, she will open up and slowly, you'll be able to help her. :hug: I'm sorry I'm not much of a help hun.
     
  7. TheContempt

    TheContempt New Member

    On the contrary, you have been more of a help than you know. It has been a great help speaking to someone who is able to offer a fresh point of view. Thank you so very much!

    +Josh
     
  8. You are more than welcome. :hug: Please let me know what happens between you two. :)
     
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