Letter from PDOC - 2

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by GoldenPsych, Jun 8, 2008.

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  1. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    Being as though I put the last one on I thought I would put this on so that you can see where I am... There will be another one that follows more than likely as I attempted last week and so the SW is sending out another....

    She is a 23 year old lady who presented to A+E following an OD on 14th May. I asessed her in A+E and she was reluctant to talk to me about what had happened.

    Over time she did manage to talk a little about difficulities. She was unsure about how he got to A+E and had reported thought of harming herself continuously over the last 18months. She began to SH about 18months ago and said she is unable to identify a trigger. The most serious OD was in Spet 2007 where she was in hospital for 3 nights.

    She reports her mood is up and down and experiences feelings of emptyness. Her sleep is poor and keeps waking through the night. She is unsure wht casuses anxiety and it can make it difficult for her to go out at times. Appetite is variable amd reports hacing no enjoyment and interests but is unable to identify anything premorbidity that she enjjoyed.

    She has been to A+E numerous times with previous self harm both cutting and overdosing. She has seen people from DPM. She said it was possibly easier for her to talk to a male and that she had got on well with ***

    On examination she was casually dressed (I wonder if I had been in a ball dress or something what that would have said - to me from what I remember I was in my PJ bottoms and a didgy jumper). She made poor eye contact and established a poor rapport. She tended to keep her head down and covered her face with her hair ( it is called having a fringe!!!!) and was difficult for her to make spontaneous conversation. Her mood was low and she was very anxious especially when anyone walked past the room. She denied any paranoid thoughts.

    In terms of further risk I feel that she is at high risk of further self harm and attempted suicide...


    What gets me is I can't really remember this at all. It is all a blur to me and cant remember what I said.

    I find it hard to be honest as I fear labels, psych hospitals and all that it entails. I think I care too much about what other people think of me. I was a little more honest with the person I saw last week and I talked to her about my paranoid thoughts.

    I am off to the doc tomorrow - I need a note from him as to why i didnt sit exams and also i think I need to talk to him about what I am feeling again at the moment and how all I am thinking about is when I can make a sucessful suicide!!!!
  2. TheWr0ngChild

    TheWr0ngChild Well-Known Member

    See, this poor woman's example is just how amazingly caring the NHS is. Look how they write about her, it's so fucking degrading. I've seen better reports from vets! No offence meant here.

    Unfortunatly it is no supprise that you have been treated this way. Most people pay taxes to fund the shambles we call the NHS, something Britain is supposedly so proud of. It is DISGUSTING.

    There is a lottery based on your postcode as to how well funded your NHS PCT (Primary Care Trust) is. If you fall in an underfunded area this CRAP is only to be expected.

    I know your very afraid of hospitals and lables, I am too hun. I don't want to say you should see another doctor because I need to as well and it would sound hypocritical.

    Golden you are a lovely person who would be so badly missed round here. I always think about you every time I read your posts. You have offered people here so much of your time and love.

    I really can understand what it's like behind your eyes, it's very scary. All I can ask is that before you do anything again is that you come here and talk things through with us.We'll do our uttermost to save a beautiful life like yours.
  3. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    I dont get it either... I think if I had have been in the states I'd have got a lot mor help by now.
  4. middleofnowhere

    middleofnowhere Well-Known Member

    It might be that you'd find more help here in the states, but then again, you might not. I'd think it's kind of like looking for a church you like. Every one is quite different from the next, for better or for worse.

    It would be a nice thing to have access to my hospital or doctors' reports. I received a file one time when my psychologist secretly let me see it. Interesting reading.

    I wish I had $1 for each time I've wished for a successful ending to my life. I'd have quite a savings account. My strong spirit seems to keep the weak body from being killed.

    I hope you can make it through the day, one day at a time. That's all that's available to us. Past is past. Future could be anything from horrid to wonderful. Today is all we have. It's all we're promised. It's up to us to take advantage of what's available.

    Keep on hangin' on.
  5. TheWr0ngChild

    TheWr0ngChild Well-Known Member

    I mean the mentality of GP's here is pills first, investigations later. When I had a massive "meltdown" due to the PMS making me a different person who did that that particular month, I went to see my doctor. He did not beleive in PMS or that hormonal imbalences were real. I asked if I could have further tests and all he offered me was Prozac (which made me go psychotic in the past) and another Contraceptive pill, which I imediatly turned down.

    I tried to explain that is was the Pill that made me this way, of course I was not beleived. He just reffered me to this stupid psyhcotherapy place that made me the appointments for non PMS days then turned me away saying I did not need further interevention.

    They all totaly missed the point of the possibility that this might be being caused by something physical. There's no way I'm popping pills like that without knowing what is wrong with me, and I can't find out what is wrong with me because I guess my PCT is underfunded, meaning they won't pass me on for any tests untill I've tried the cheaper options.

    I'm guessing this is why there are so many people on unnesessary medications having unnessessary side effects, because they ALWAYS go for a mental cause above a physical one. Chances are if you see a doctor with bad back pains or insomnia etc you'll be leaving with a prescription for anti depressants.
  6. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    As part of the Data Protection Act we can have access to our reports etc and any information that is held about you. I think there may be some instances that if it is likely to make you worse they can withhold it from you. I was asked if I wanted to recieve a copy of what was sent last tme I saw someone and I sid yeh. I like to know whatis those 3 nights all my rexcords fro hpspital for those 3 nights all my rexcords from when I was 6 were just left by my bedside. That made interesting reading. What I don't like about it is that people who come visit you may just pick it up and start reading it.

    I don't like how many different people have been written to and that have discussed me. That sort of freaks me out and makes me super paranoid.

    I have a doc appointment later about things - mainly I need a doc note so i can get extensions etc on exams. But I am stll not sleeping. I read through some old posts last night and I was talking about my lack of sleep back in Jan. I need something more long term as can't get by on so little sleep all the time. It makes me unable to concentrate and irritable - my bf can vouch for thath!
  7. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    hey golden, i know we've talked about this before. your doc, the counsellor, and the hospital can only do so much. until you are ready to get better you will keep going on these exhausting cycles of up and down.

    since you are going to see him anyways, remember you were going to printout some of your posts here and share them with him.

    if he offers you sleeping pills, just get 3 or 4 nights worth, and have the pharmacy hold the rest. more than a few pills might be too tempting in your current frame of mind. my thinking is that you want to put as many obstacles between you and an attempt.

    be safe, ok?
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